So many things, so little time...

Hey this blog thing is actually really fun.. looking around seeing all the other nice blogs.. makes me wanna do something more to mine.. add a bit of bkground pics,.. design.. wait till I've time.. which I NEVER!

I never have time! Why!!! I Wanna do so many things.. so so many things.. i think it'll take my whole life to do everything I wanna do... Yet sometimes I think i'm stressing myself up, and end up doing nothing. I guess I better learn how to be more of a mary than a martha... (it's a biblical story where mary sat to listen to jesus talk and be recharged, while martha was busy doing lotsa things for jesus and was frustrated coz she was so busy and mary wasn't doing anything).

Yeah. True I'd like to sit and listen to Jesus, but sometimes also, it's so tempting to DO MANY THiNGS.. even also things 'for God'... the achievement, the honour, the pride of having done up something good. It's just so human, we need it so much.. yet.. are we pleasing God by being 'good' n doing all these 'good' things?? (What I mean good is by being polite to ppl, to be 'christlike', to not sin.. to restrain, to be excellent.. to be perfect...etc...)

I admit it's not an easy thing to understand, that we do not gain God's favour by the things we do, but faith... Eg. Like why if I do so many Good things.. charity.. kind deeds, being nice to people, to seek excellence within my work, relationships, I still am not doing what God wants for me? [NB:of course loving others and seeking success are BASIC virtues, we should have them and not be a mean person or to have no drive for life.... but the focus shldn't be to make ourselves 'better' people, or gain credits for yourself... but rather because God loved and died for us, and so we love others, as well as ourselves.]

So perhaps, God wants me NOT to try to show I love him by doing a lot of things, or to show others that I am a good christian, but to be able to simply love Him FIRST? THEN only he will use me to DO things, and to fill me with overflowing love for others... It's the other way round. Get the drift? .....:)

On the other hand, it's also that bit of perfectionist in me.. overdriven to the extent of being underdriven.. so complex.. too difficult to relax.. I think I need to just go for a holiday and bask in the Love of God, who exists outside time. Sometimes I really dislike being in the world. I think too much. Need some freedom.

Bible verse Matthew 22:36-40
"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."