SpiritualSurvival.org

You are my hope and my refuge
In you i know who I am
Father my arms are wide open
When i am weak you are strong..

Since the week, have been facing loads of doubts, lack of vision, discouragement, loathe, whatever, you name it. Call it the upset of balance from the YISS preparation camp? Perhaps it really is! Throws you off your comfort zones and rocks the boat -- calling me to a life of radical obedience.

The term is unnerving. Radical obedience. People relate it to fundamentalism - irrational blind belief? stupidity?

Sigh. How does it take to convince the world?

And then I am no saint myself. As much as I vouch for radical obedience, my life is no radical example of radical obedience. It's more like.. i want to but... there's compromise, old mentalities, and The Self.

But as much as I've been weak and floundering in faith, I rejoice because i know that it is only when i am weak that the LORD is glorified - because I realise that I am not God and that all that I have, or can do, will depend on how much I allow Him to transform me.

On my own strength, I can do nothing. But in Christ, I can do all things.

And as I'm just feeling down, this wonderful website comes across in my google search: www.spiritualsurvival.org

It's a lifesaver!

YISS prep camp

O God, I asked for strength that I might achieve;
I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked for help that I might do greater things;
I was given infirmity that I might do better things.
I asked for riches that I might be happy;
I was given poverty that I might be wise.
I asked for power that I might have the praise of men;
I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life;
I was given life that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing that I asked for but everything I hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am among all men most richly blessed.


Where can I go from the presence of God? His all-knowing presence? I can't seem to hide from Him. When i hide things inside - hurts and pains, it has to come out one day.. and this prep camp once again touches on those sore points and threatens to bring it all out in one big gusto. I am afraid of what may happen. What change will have to occur in my life.

Truly, we settle for things that are comfortable, whether good or bad. But God wants change. Change that brings freedom.. We may think we are living in freedom, but we may be living a lie. It's just like the matrix. In fact, totally.

Sometimes, it gets so hard to tell which is reality. Is it the life i create for myself? Sometimes cushioned with all my wants and desires.. my hobbies, interests and preferences - which could be un-godly - or is it the life that God wants for us, which seems unrealistically difficult - a life of denying the flesh and seeking after God's ways and radical obedience.

But the latter - following God - is the real answer to true freedom. Because only then will we find what we are created for - our purpose for living. We can give ourselves our own purposes for living, but it's our own ideas. What's God's? That we live a Good life? we can never be too good. Perhaps, all God wants is for us to LOVE.

And i find that when I cannot love, i am living in denial.

Denial that everything is fine as long as i prove myself to live a successful life. But waht is success?

Success in God's eyes, is LOVE.

For without love, we are like an empty gong.

Once again , i am drawn to this age-old topic on love. Christianity. Love. Is that all there is? Unfortunately yes. And Fortunately, Love is all you need to enter heaven - not success.

I chastise myself.. and beg for change. Perhaps, it's me that needs it. Then the others will follow. As the saying goes.

God bless!

3-D amazing painting!

Amazing...



And it's actually flat! WOah!!!

Anyways, watched the Da Vinci Code today. Haha.. it was not too bad. Even managed to have a talk with Simon & Isabel... we talked about God.. christianity.. etc. It was good.. at least, open.

On my way back home, I was just reflecting on recent events. Truly there was once again a little bout of winter. Just a short phase of uncertainty. But i'd say, it was a pause in my walk.. a momentary one where I was just tired and needed a breather. I was too busy.

But it's spring again. At least, because I find that after a little "winter" the seasons change once again and I am brought into a renewed and loving relationship with God the Father, recognising more and more how I am a child of God. How do I really know? I asked myself. And like what i told Simon & Isabel today, I think there's no other easier words to describe the God experience than simply, knowing love, joy and peace. When i know God, i know peace. I really find myself at peace with God, with myself.

And despite many things that still cause my heart to ache I know that God has touched my inner-person a little. I can just feel it. It's not easy but its great to be able to recognise the presence of God.

On my walk home from the 36 bus stop, i couldn't help reflecting... I feel like Nehemiah, who saw the broken walls of Jerusalem and was deeply saddened. Same. Same. No other words to describe. Nehemiah then went on to a job of rebuilding, leading the people to work and at the same time, build back the walls. I find my mission in YAM right now is somewhat similar.

And so God i thank you today for everything. You're teaching me each day how to trust in you more and more, and I even find that I haven't actually completely yielded and submitted my life to you - in some ways. So Today i ask you to reign in me... and alll of my days i want to praise your Holy Name!

My poem - The mark of the Beast!

My one and only notable poetry work from last year's Noise Singapore contest is up!!

I loved doing this poem... and the sinister mood.. can just imagine the music behind this..

http://www.noisesingapore.com/showcase2005.php

Look to You

This song captures exactly my feelings... sometimes when negative doubts take over, we need to turn that negativity upwards and look to Jesus...

I know You love
me I know You died for me
I know You care
I know You care

I know You live again
Your life for all my sin
Now I stand here in
In Your grace again

As I look into the sky above
Wonder how my life has changed
Wonder how Your love, it came to me
As I look into the sky above
All my fears, so far away
All I hear is heaven calling me

So I look to You
So I look to You
No one else will do
No one else will do

...and i had this silly analogy... the horizontal negative sign becomes a vertical one, so then placed over the previous negative sign, becomes the sign of the cross.

And indeed, our crosses to bear make us weighed down at times, but then i ask myself, perhaps i'm walking by feelings, not faith? so then, it's time for me to stand up on faith and be strong! so that i can bear my cross with joy!

And what is bearing one's cross? it's the cost of following jesus. THe cost of discipleship, which is foolishness to the world but in actual fact, it is life.

ANd i'm still in Bali

And the bali thing has not worn off yet... not that i really seen or toured bali.. it's more of the music, the playing, the songs, the atmosphere.. the feeling of nostalgia,.. it's a great escapade. But what triggers off these strong feelings? is something I don't understand. Why is it hard to adjust simply to a world and another? And why do i experience feelings like these? Perhaps it's the whole thing about escaping reality. We tend to escape and flee when reality seems not so pleasant. But does it mean i'm weak in any way? People escape in many ways. What makes mine any less? the pining and longing to be elsewhere, some tropical getaway, some faraway place. In fact that's where dreams arise. That's where stories build.

And i ask the Lord why feelings of Joy seem so fleeting. And I am comforted by this verse "He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him" (Ps. 126:6). Pain can become a source of joy if we take the first step by planting seed. There is a harvest that will come if we sow in the midst of tears. Perhaps, I need to sow. Give, and i'll receive.

Back from Bali

I'm back from the Bali Wedding Gig. It's sooo beautiful.. the wedding, the resort, the mountains... not to mention 3 days of feasting - for the guests. Amazing. Totally revolutionises one's idea of the ultimate wedding experience. I believe long after, I will not forget the splendid view, food, 6-star service, and the whole experience of playing - in a quartet - in Bali! It's a retreat for me too... and I feel i've visited "Shangri-La".

The Irresistable Church

http://www.creatsia.blogspot.com/

A beautiful blog-site by Leonard & Cassilda, two inspiring people.

What Leonard wrote...

I DREAM OF A CHURCH

I was thinking. When Jesus was on earth, He was irresistible. People flocked to Him, Children loved Him, the sick wanted to be near him. Jesus was Irresistible.

I believe that the Church, being Jesus' Body and him the head, has to reflect that same irresistibility on earth.

As I look at our Church today and honestly ask myself - IS OUR CATHOLIC CHURCH IRRESISTIBLE? Are we reflecting who Jesus is? Are people flocking to church? Or do they can't wait to get out of there?

I believe change is needed. The worlds needs the Church. But they will not darken the doors of the church if we continue to be what we are. Already we see an Exodus of our own young people out of our church.

I believe a generation of Spirit-Filled Catholics can make a change. We are the Future of the Church. What we are is what the church will be in the Future. That is why I dare to say...I DREAM OF A CHURCH ...

I dream of a church in the future that is Irresistible.

I dream of a church where everyone is passionately satisfied by Jesus and are filled with the Holy Spirit.

I dream of a church where every man, woman and child would rush in every Sunday. An environment so irresistible, there is no better place to be.

I dream of a church that is relevant to culture. That sees culture not as a foe but as a friend, not as friction, but traction for the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

I dream of a church where people are real. Where perfection is not expected and grace is extended. Where we warm hearts and not pews. Where we are friends and not strangers.I dream of a church where joy, not just knowledge, is the measure of faith.

I dream of a church where clergy and laity are equal, even partners.

I dream of a church where the Word of God meets Real Life. Where what is heard on Sunday can be used on Monday.

I dream of a church where the presence of the Lord is tangible and the joy of the peoples contagious.

I dream of a church where there are signs and wonders, healings and miracles, prophecies and deliverances.

I dream of a church that doesn't just have small groups but will be of small groups. Where people live shared lives and care for one another.

I dream of a church where character is the measure of maturity. Where people fear the Holiness of God, love Righteousness and do justice.

I dream of a church where every person discover their purpose and is released into ministry. Where everyone is released to be everywhere.

I dream of a church that is irresistible to the lost, the hurting, the broken and the skeptic.

I dream of a church that is bold and dangerous enough to capture the imagination of the leaders, achievers, the artistic and the intellectuals of our society.

I dream of a church that change lives, impacts society, blesses the nation and touches the world practically with the Love and the Spirit of God.

How?

We need to see a rising generation of radically God-Centered Catholics whose passion for Jesus will ellipses the pervious generations. Students and young people so sold-out to the Kingdom and so broken for lives who do not yet know Him that they are willing to risks all. A people of great resolve to prudently challenge the present and forge a framework of a Future Church that will be able to speak in the culture in the most effective way possible. These people go on to establish communities and ministries that will embody the very blueprint of the future.

An Irresistible Church - as Jesus was when He was on earth.

It can happen. The Dream can become Reality. We have to start now.

One Generation. That's all it takes.

The Irresistible Church.

The BEST is yet to be.


Taken from
http://www.creatsia.blogspot.com/