A prayer of warfare!

Dear Lord, Your Word tells us "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:3-5). I pray right now, in the name of Jesus, that you would rebuke every evil thought, tear down every stronghold in my life, and help me Lord, to bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. Help me to overcome and to rise above all that pulls me down. Help me to soar with the Eagles and restore fellowship with You. May my life be a living testimony to You, Oh God. In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen.

Road that leads to no end

quoting cletus
Originally uploaded by Matt?!

I would like to paint this one day too...

Having and Have nots...

If we do not have something, it means we do not really need it.

God gives us and "will" give us, what we "really" need. Something I learnt today.

Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my 2 wonderful friends Pauline & Ruby! You are in my fondest memories always and I hope we will continue to stick together and be wonderful friends always. We may not meet very often but rest assured, you both have a special place in my heart!~ ;)

Luv
Sam

Ministry is being "Christ" Everywhere.

Today i woke up fresh at 8am, with a thought about Ministry. Truly, i think about it every day and night.

What is "ministry"? and why am I called to Ministry?

It's just like "ministry" of sound, food, etc... this is like a ministry of my faith, my religion, my God.

It's not even something lofty or abstract.

It can simply be translated to "service"... or as our faith calls it --- "Love".

Ministry, is like that ICCRS conference I attended in June this year -- it is "Love in Action".

Everything we do unto another, we do unto God.


SO even being a loving person in the office, when people needs your listening ear and smiling face for comfort... is "ministry".

Even going out with friends (maybe non-christian?) and doing things for them like organising the next outing could be "ministry".

Even playing music with a group of buddies could be "ministry".

SO ministry is not just in church, on a Sunday, or in our youth group during that 2-3 hours of meeting when we see each other. It is everywhere.

Ministry is for life.

It is being Christlike, 24/7.

Appreciating the finer things in life...

GOOD FOOD!!!!

Celebrating my mum's birthday in advance, at the Park Royal Hotel, Plaza Brallerie.. We had a buffet dinner using Dad’s Buffet Club discount. I think we're utilising this club thingee pretty well. But that also means... lots of KG increase....!!

Feeling Grateful.

I am grateful. I am grateful that I can have a good dinner with my mum and dad, having good food. Grateful for all the blessings I have. Grateful for my talents in music. Grateful for a life with a silver lining, nothing to ‘really’ worry about.

Next – I am tired. I want to serve God’s people but I don’t want to do this without a proper goal or long-term plan. I am worried that I will still continue to serve and serve and serve… it’s been 10 years since I started. Now, what?

I need to pass on to younger people. That transition itself is not easy. Not because I don’t want to (I am not the hog-leadership kind of person!) But because I can’t find the people. Or at least, I don’t know how to find them. I need to learn more about resource management and am utterly grateful for that little advice from V.. at like 1am plus after our usual Saturday night prayer meets.

I want to find new things in life. I still want to discover new things. I am not ready to settle down like other people who find their other halfs and are already looking at a future together. I don’t have such a person. As such, though it sometimes feels worrying or wrong… it can also feel right. I am free.

I want to get into a positive lifestyle. As it is, everything is as positive as it can get. But it can get even better. There are people out there who live out life even more gregariously. They go the extra mile. I wanna be such a person.

I wanna travel, hike, learn new things, and meet new people. Life is an adventure, yet to be explored.

Yet my greatest enemy is also myself, my comfort and my “little” world.

How do I cross the great divide to get into that world beyond?

And do I “Really” wanna go there? What does it mean? Does it mean to give up some things?

Would it be worth it? AM I daring enough? What do I really want to do? What does “that’ world mean or is it just an abstract feeling of the need for “more” “more” “more”?

Should I just be happy with the things at present? My comfort zone? Be grateful and happy and not long for more things… or should I long for more? What is the way?

People say that there are the “lost” people – who do not know God. Maybe I am one such person at this stage of life. I am “lost” once again. Even though I know God, I don’t know what He wants me to do and where to go anymore. So I need to calm down, lie low and begin to retrace my steps again. But time and tide waits for no one. Work in church still goes on. I am still needed.

How then to “not” be needed?

These are such questions that go through my head. Exasperating isn’t it.

Peace - what is?

Hadn’t blogged for some time. Was busy, and thus, no time for any kind of reflection…

But today, I have a lot of thoughts and finally penning it down again!

Firstly, there are many things that I cannot fathom:
- The lack of love
- How people perceive
- Ironies of life
- How to be truly spiritual.

The last point – it is because I read the Dark night of the soul (only the first half) – and it set me thinking and thinking and thinking! But ok these are good thoughts, pensive, thoughts about my spiritual life, my service to God, my love for God – do I love my own service rather than God? Or Do I truly love God?

Meanwhile, what is peace? Is it that assurance (feeling) that God is there with me… or that knowledge that God will see me through till the end (not feeling but faith), or what else could it be? After reading the dark night, I am once again, brought back to my early beginner stages of my spiritual search for answers.

I question again – am I putting my trust in the feelings that I feel, while doing the work of God and while doing all the prayers that I do?

Frankly, I haven’t had much “Feeling”… I’d been dry. I have done service in my church as part of my weekly activity but sometimes, I don’t rejoice in the “happy feelings” that I get from it… coz sometimes, it is only stress and disappointment. So … reading the Dark Night, further confounds me. But it is truly intriguing.

I am brought into a new space. It’s like entering a new world, the surroundings are different. The thoughts are different. There is wonder and awe, and a sense of searching, for the answers, once again, to find the path that leads me to the Truth.

God is mysterious indeed.

Anyway… what else I would like to blog about today? It is that I found a song I really like and it’s from the anime “darker than black” a sci-fi flick.. which looks pretty nice! I’m only into the beginning of it.. ehehe.. so no guarantees.

Tsukiakari by Rie Fu:


And… can’t get the irritating dream out of my head – dreamt a few days ago of a fierce flying “garoupa” which had piranha-like teeth and eyes and attacked our house and was smart enough to “open” the sliding window and fly in and attack my sister! GOSH! I was so worried but lucky, she was not too badly hurt. I think it arises from feelings of love and protection doesn’t it? Even though we are far apart, there is still a bond of love and blood is thicker than water isn’t it? Hhaa.. nostalgic…

Dark Night of the Soul

Recently I started reading a teeny bit of “Dark night of the soul” by St. John of the Cross. Wow this is totally cheem and deep.

It talks about a time in our spiritual walk where we go so much deeper with the lord that we don’t’ even rejoice in “feeling good” because of the things we do – rather, we rejoice that we are not able to feel anything, because it means we do the good we do not to rejoice in the feeling of it, rather it is a true love for God! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_Night_of_the_Soul

It’s like, as I read it, my heart is trembling… ahahaha (ironic, coz you're not supposed to find joy in the senses during this "Dark" period)…

Anyway, it's said in the text that God leads into the Dark Night those whom He desires to purify from all these imperfections so that He may bring them farther onward.

It explains the 7 cardinal sins in deeper terms. Not just gluttony of “food” but “spiritual gluttony”. Not just “Pride” in worldly achievements, but “Spiritual Pride” in our service… Spiritual irritations.. Spiritual Luxury… Etc. This really explains why sometimes, I got angry with others who were previously not “keeping up with my pace or my enthusiasm for God” – Actually, in reality, it could be just Spiritual Pride or vanity..???!!

This also explains why some people who satisfied with their “service” and the things they do for others, develop spiritual pride – and want to hear only praise and good things. If their superiors did not approve of it --- they leave…

I guess, I’m only on the chapter of “pride”. But wow… this really makes you feel like nothing at all! I am just merely a “beginner”…. !

Can it be that after 10 years of Charismatic Renewal experiences, that I am only but a beginner.

And true enough, I do think so after reading even but 3 chapters of this text.

Read online: http://www.ccel.org/ccel/john_cross/dark_night.toc.html

Beautiful picture

Originally uploaded by i.Anton

on Flickr... found a new feature - that enables us to share the photos directly to our blog! heh..

Anyway, this picture looks like a painting indeed. Will like to try painting something like this some day!