Peace - what is?

Hadn’t blogged for some time. Was busy, and thus, no time for any kind of reflection…

But today, I have a lot of thoughts and finally penning it down again!

Firstly, there are many things that I cannot fathom:
- The lack of love
- How people perceive
- Ironies of life
- How to be truly spiritual.

The last point – it is because I read the Dark night of the soul (only the first half) – and it set me thinking and thinking and thinking! But ok these are good thoughts, pensive, thoughts about my spiritual life, my service to God, my love for God – do I love my own service rather than God? Or Do I truly love God?

Meanwhile, what is peace? Is it that assurance (feeling) that God is there with me… or that knowledge that God will see me through till the end (not feeling but faith), or what else could it be? After reading the dark night, I am once again, brought back to my early beginner stages of my spiritual search for answers.

I question again – am I putting my trust in the feelings that I feel, while doing the work of God and while doing all the prayers that I do?

Frankly, I haven’t had much “Feeling”… I’d been dry. I have done service in my church as part of my weekly activity but sometimes, I don’t rejoice in the “happy feelings” that I get from it… coz sometimes, it is only stress and disappointment. So … reading the Dark Night, further confounds me. But it is truly intriguing.

I am brought into a new space. It’s like entering a new world, the surroundings are different. The thoughts are different. There is wonder and awe, and a sense of searching, for the answers, once again, to find the path that leads me to the Truth.

God is mysterious indeed.

Anyway… what else I would like to blog about today? It is that I found a song I really like and it’s from the anime “darker than black” a sci-fi flick.. which looks pretty nice! I’m only into the beginning of it.. ehehe.. so no guarantees.

Tsukiakari by Rie Fu:


And… can’t get the irritating dream out of my head – dreamt a few days ago of a fierce flying “garoupa” which had piranha-like teeth and eyes and attacked our house and was smart enough to “open” the sliding window and fly in and attack my sister! GOSH! I was so worried but lucky, she was not too badly hurt. I think it arises from feelings of love and protection doesn’t it? Even though we are far apart, there is still a bond of love and blood is thicker than water isn’t it? Hhaa.. nostalgic…