Life's little joys...

I was mooning about the whole day - about life's worries --- but in this post, I was about to write about the sadness of life but I decided to call it life's little joys.

Good food...
Good friends..
The joys of easy travel - in a car... (although the car is giving us a noisy problem with an overworked fan that sounds like it's gonna explode any minute)
The joys of living in Singapore - easy to drive...!
The joys of a nice home, nice house...
The joys of family (even hearing them quarrel in the car and getting pissed at it all)...
The joys of having dinner together (not much is said but it's still good anyway)
The joys of having a mission (in church - in my youth ministry)
The joys of blogging
The joys of facebook - to just see what people are doing (it kinda connects people, if done right)
The joys of knowing that God is still aware of everything I am going through.
See... life ain't that bad.
But why can't I pluck up my courage and feel happy? Maybe it's just a natural time of winter,... I need to rest a bit more... and find my strength in Him. Coz in all the things we do, we can either run on our own strength or wait for God to renew our spirit.

God, my prayer is for:
- Peace & Love in the household
- Commitment and Passion from my fellow youth ministry members
- Respect and Friendship in the workplace
- Perseverance and Faithfulness to you in my own walk with You.
- Hope for the future instead of dismay
- Strength for the new year (of service ahead if my term continues)
- Consolation for times of loneliness and fear
- Friends to help in times of trouble and uncertainty
- Mercy for my lavish living and guidance on how I should live my life

Hmm....The walk in life is hard indeed. We are in need of so many things (Material & Non-Material).

In moments like these, I sing out a song, I sing out a love song for Jesus...

Why? Because I just feel like singing... to God - because I am so worried, so sad, so tired, so weak, so doubtful, and so unhappy.... I wanna sing...

Jesus, Lover of my soul, Jesus, I will never let you go. You've taken me, from the miry clay, you've set my feet on the rock, and now I know,
I love you, I need you, though my world may fall I'll never let you go,
My saviour, my closest friend,
I will worship you, until the very end...

I am a Living Stone...

"May you be rooted deep in love and founded securely on love"(Ephesians 3:17, AMP)
 
TODAY'S WORD from Joel and Victoria: Did you know there is tremendous power in love? In the same way that a tree will grow taller and stronger when its roots grow deep, you will be stronger and rise higher when you are rooted and established in love.
 
Today, I also reflect on 1 Peter 2:4-5 -
4 As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, 5 you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.
 
Many times, I feel rejected by men. Not because of their actions, but because I have rejected the ways of the world so much to the extent that by being in the world sometimes, it feels like i am being rejected. But this verse comes to me today, telling me that despite the inner and outer conflict I do experience, in the sight of God I am chosen and precious. 
 
We are all living stones, and God is the mason - he places us in different areas fitting us together so that each of us serves a different purpose. When that is all in place, there is harmony.
 
I wonder what is happening now, and I can only wait for God to continue to strengthen me for the work ahead. It feels like a winter season where I get ready for spring again. Despite how tired I am, I feel like there is still a year ahead, that I must "offer spiritual sacrifices" on behalf of the ministries I am in. 
 
Recently just joined a new publication ministry - without saying more here, I feel the urge also to pray for it. I don't know why. I just came back and started singing the song "God is Awesome in this place" and therefore that's how I got to the word "living stones". 
 
In the lyrics of the song, it goes:
I've found where I belong
I'm a living stone
In this house
I will grow

The words are very symbolic. In my youth ministry, I have used the verse from Psalms 52 to symbolise the youth ministry. Then in this song, there is the same 2 words house, and the notion of growing (flourishing):
 
Psalms 52:8 But I am like an olive tree
flourishing in the house of God;
I trust in God's unfailing love
for ever and ever. 
 
I know... what i must do...

To serve or not to serve?

Today I prayed many prayers. I asked God to give me a sign if he wants me to continue serving in my church youth ministry. And you know what? Just before I'm about to knock off to bed (it's 2am now!) I see this verse from the daily bible inspiration widget in my iGoogle:

Today's Verse:
And David said to Solomon his son, Be strong and of good courage, and do it: fear not, nor be dismayed: for the LORD God, even my God, will be with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee, until thou hast finished all the work for the service of the house of the LORD. - 1 Chronicles 28:20 (KJV)

And I look further closely and I realise it is "SOLOMON" again - why? Because when I was born, my parents had 2 names for me. If I was a boy, it would be Solomon, and girl, Samantha.

Well, in any case, I am not amused at God's sense of 'humour'. More like pissed.

But I am quite astounded because I did pray for God to give me a sign.

And the verse really speaks to me... it tells me that HE will not forsake me. This is akin to "abandon" / "forget"... and you know when I was first touched by the Holy Spirit in a retreat in 1999, I had the same words "I will not abandon you".... "I did not forget you".... from God.

Now, I see God says,
until thou hast finished all the work for the service of the house of the LORD

And I am doubly astounded - because deep inside, I am asking the Lord, that isn't my work finished? Isn't it good enough already? WHAT MORE does He want me to do? Does he want me to serve for so long until I hit my 30s? IT's crazy. And he says thru this verse,... to "Be strong and of good courage, and do it: fear not, nor be dismayed"...

Reading this, I can't help but Fear more... and Dismay more.... but I am also a little joyful inside, because I have a little inward assurance that if I say yes to 1 more year of service, I may be going in line with this Godly inspiration, which may be God's will for me!

Walking through the fire

It's time for the test of fire. In our faith, we are usually put to the test. If we have no trials in life, our faith will not be tested. So recently my faith has been tested, and as I'm watching myself deal with the situations, I can actually see how much I have failed to remain absolutely faithful to God in this process. So many times, I lost the faith and quickly sought to disbelieve God's sovereignty, greatness, plan...

But thank God for my friends at YAM, a community who can pray for me, because when I'm at wits end, whom else can I turn to to hear my deepest worries, and thoughts!

As a result of this, I realise, that when I am weak, I should not react and respond - but rather wait for a time of empowering from God - filling of the Holy Spirit - that gives me the courage to respond to life's problems with love, peace and joy. People ask me why I am happy all the time.... and the real truth is, that I am not, but only because I found God, my security is in Him. Therefore, I can live life with that true joy and peace.

Somehow, I sense that God has a floodgate of blessings for everyone of us, if only we sat down in the stillness, acknowledged Him as God of our lives, and entrust all that we have to Him. Then only can He open the floodgates - and fill our lives with the blessings he intends for us. It's not that he prevents us from having it until we say yes He is God (that sounds petty) - but with us acknowledging God as the author of life and giver of our lives, we love Him back and in return, we experience the fullness of His blessings to us. Otherwise, we will always either never realise his blessings, or think that the blessings came from our own hardwork, or that some other thing gave us those blessings (e.g. maybe some stroke of luck) - but if we realised that God is the master planner of the entire universe, we realise that by seeking Him, we start to love him and develop a desire to know Him more. That in turn becomes a love relationship with Our maker, the Creator of heaven and earth. That in turn blesses us even further with a disposition of love and joy and peace. What more can I say? Why are people believing in stones and fortune telling when these things cannot guarantee your eternal security?