So long... since July... It's been 4 months since I last blogged... considerably a long long break since I have had fairly consistent blogging over many years!
Why? I dont' know. Maybe it's because I was busy, and my free time wasn't spent reflecting about things. As you can see my blog is mainly to reflect about life, god and share fun things in my life, or rant and ruminate.
Maybe it's because of Facebook... because you start sharing everything there that there's no need for blogging already.
But it's also not the best place to "share" everything... so I"m returning to blog!
It's December and I look forward to a trip to Hokkaido at the end of the month.
Just finished playing at the 4th Dec Braddell Heights concert... so fun... I really really love it! Also was so encouraged by mum dad, ju & chester's presence, and friends' support (though not all actually came lah).
Well, despite these good things ahead, I find my spiritual and ministry life extremely dry. Maybe there's a lot of blockage because I am angry with a few things and disagree with a few people on the way ministry ought to be run. I also can see myself being so disagreeable... and I also dislike myself being like that, but what can I do? I simply think differently. And when people don't understand or see my point, they diss my point, making me feel like I don't matter. Ok I make myself offended for nothing... but I just feel -- upset. I just don't like how things are at the moment so it's like a negative poison building up within me. I never thought this would happen to me. But what Can I do? I know pray... pray pray... but I also tend not to want to pray! It's a struggle indeed.
Aside, I still hope that the Lord will be merciful... I do know this is just a willfull and unspiritual phase of life for me - but I also worry that I will let myself "die" spiritually... and so I just hope that God will redeem me and deliver me from all these struggles, if I can so wait and see that day.
