Wow... it's 11:47pm, I just came back home around 11pm today.. still have not packed for my retreat tomorrow morning at 9:00am! gosh... it's even earlier than work (considering i have to travel to Jurong!).... ok it's been an eventful day, or few days this week.. why? read on:
- Funny how my office buddies (yah not colleagues) keep saying i "zi-high" this week... aka get high on my own.... true enough, i'm really more relaxed this week... maybe coz I did what i had to do and kinda decided to take it easier this week. But truly, when one is more relaxed, it is easier to laugh...
- Went to join the St. Ignatius charismatic prayer session (practice session) on Tuesday nite. Wanted actually to discuss Korea trip but in the end, i ended up playing piano (jamming to it!) for their practice (their prayer meet is on Wednesdays).... and joining for supper... we were treated to fantastic hospitability - our host, Rose, bought pizzas and pasta for us, and literally fed us... though we already had dinner. She lives in Six avenue. So while i was admiring her house... and wondering how can people be 'so rich'... I also had to remind myself, that people worked their way up and really really worked hard. Compared to me... pretty slack ;) ANyway... that night, I also got a little sponsorship from her for the accomodation at Korea. Wow.. i felt so loved, so cherished, so precious, so wonderful, so thankful, even though i did not need it, she gave it... what trust, what magnanimousity (correct sp?)... In other words, so blessed. I told her, maybe God has a reason for bringing us there... to the St. Ignatius group. For one, I am not able to commit for long terms, but i love playing violin. Maybe they will call me to play more in future on wednesdays when there's no jap class. MAYBE i am going to end up with one more commitment added to the plate. But i just trust in God. It's not that i want the money. It's just something really compelling about accepting her love and support. I just think this lady is a lady of faith. My god-mother / aunt is also called Rose. Maybe something clicked. Heh. Rose. I like Roses too.
- Humility. Today I reflect how everything we do reflects some kind of love of Self. But I have found, in the past few days, that it is through the emptying of one's self, that we actually find peace and find God. To do so, we need to be humble enough to tell God that we are wrong, that we need Him, and that we can't walk the walk alone.
Some shorter rants cos i am tired and have things to do: - I can't wait to see my paper tole framed up! - I am crazily learning japanese... nihongo wa dai dai dai suki desu!!!! - Coz of the korea trip, i wanna learn some simple korean sentences too! - I am dreading Korean food though. - Want to just tour Seoul, then shall be happy. Not be too ambitious. - Happiness, is for us to decide. We decide which level we are happy at. For me, why I am happy, it is because I do the things that make me happy. - I get angry at times for lousy reasons and i need to keep myself in check. - I am tempted to laze the weekend away. But must not miss this retreat that I decided to go for. - Love is a powerful force. - The Love of LIfe is also a powerful force. - Love of people is a super powerful force. - Love of God is a supernatural force. - I am convinced that what was prayed for me last weekend is true. THe message for me was (one of it) -- that all things are possible. This week? I am so secure... not worried for anything in the world... this kind of feeling... i don't know how to ever explain to anyone. It's just like ultimate...
ok.. that's all... i believe i'm also 'high' now... ;) ok ok ... it's the long weekend.. Happy May Day! ;)
Hehe... I found my headache remedy... COFFEE! Actually, i've been doing this many times already in the last 2 months... coffee actually helps headaches. I can't take panadol coz i'm allergic to paracetamol. So now, i've found my cure... and i like coffee so it's good anyway! hehehe..
Want some proof? go to this website which endorses coffee for everything you do.. whahaah.
Hmmm the latest film I just watched at the SIFF kinda sticks in your head... or maybe it's just me and my japanese craze. It's a film called 'sex is no laughing matter' and of course, actor is matsuyama kenichi, once again. I watched this film not really remembering why we chose it and was kinda surprised to see kenichi acting. I like him... of course... "L"... and that kinda makes up for the slow-mo movie. But it wasn't that bad. Col and I were deciding what to rate it and among the 4 we've watched, we gave it 2nd place, tied with the other show. But i'll decide this has to be 2nd place. Simply because I think it 'did' have meaning. Other bonuses would be the landscape, the artistic style of the film - I liked it.
Ok the other 3 films (according to my new ratings):
First place - it's gotta be the Dim Sum Funeral. Very refreshing take on chinese roots, family relationships and the whole notion of forgiveness, treasuring life, and people close to us. It was really touching to see an estranged family, get back together and celebrate life. Of course, there's the side notion of lesbianism where youngest daughter and her girlfriend attempts to 'make a baby',... it sounds so 'casual', like one could just disregard the whole structure of the family as God created - between man, and woman. For that matter, as a pretty religious person, I will have to beg to differ. But other than that, I found the movie really nice... light, serious, comedy, yet realistic, all in one. Not my kind of genre though, i prefer more fictional stuff. But this ranks first place among the other 3! And of course, you have all the famous names such as Bai Ling, Steph Song, Russell Wong.. etc! Wonderful! Funny, I liked Bai Ling's character! http://www.viddler.com/explore/realtvfilms/videos/822/
Third Place - Dada's Dance -- This was a very no-point kinda film at first thought... didn't like the flirty nature of Dada... and the whole aimless feeling of the movie. It's not something you can give in a summary. The movie is not really about Dada trying to find her biological mother, but a journey to find a sense of belonging.. when her mother's boyfriend starts living with them, she feels increasingly distant from her mother, compiled with the idea that she is an adopted child, leading her to jump into a search for her natural mother. along the way, she brings zhao ye, her neighbour along, who follows, smitten with her. I found this really hard to swallow too. But going deeper than that, you can see that she needed that companionship. I actually liked it in the middle around this part. But then things go erratic. Dada's mood changes 180 degrees and she leaves and just leaves him there. It's like you wonder... what did he do wrong, where's her responsility. It's so weird. I took a nap somewhere here, so I don't quite know what really happened. The ending was meaningful though... in a way, she does realise that she likes the neighbour's companionship and that at the end of the day, the failed search of her natural mother just shows her underlying yearning to be close to her biological mother. Why go one big round. Sigh. Pointless. The cast sux.... but the lead actress is the only fun thing to look at. Suppose she will land more acting roles in future! ;) Read a rather 'nice' review: http://www.lovehkfilm.com/panasia/dadas_dance.html
Last place -- How to Be - a british film about a boy who's always been 'awkward' and who does not have very nice parents (always busy, cold, business-like)... and he goes about trying to turn his life right up again by inviting self-help guru to his house to help him get his life right. Ok this sounds like a pretty good plot. Music was fantastic (of course, coz this boy is also an aspiring musician). BUT besides that,.. not much artistry with the shots... and the boy's pretty daft... his friends are weird and sometimes the dialogue just sux. I forgot the ending already. Unfortunately, Robert Patterson is the lead actor here and he was "Edward" in Twilight. BUT That was nice. but this was not. Most of all, his parents are 'unbelievable'. It was rather unbearable. I was having a KFC burger there and i think i enjoyed that more!
OK okok ok... maybe to be more fair, i liked the potential of this movie... just that it was not polished enough (in my opinion). I liked how the boy (forgot his name) - was trying to get his life back on track. I liked one part when his parents berated him and he went out to the roads kicking everything in sight... you get a real sense of his frustration. But besides that sop story of being a kid lacking parental love, it's just a bit tough to believe that a grown man like him asks such stupid questions and behaves just like a little kid in dealing with his emotions. Maybe I'm too sheltered to understand? Maybe?
ok... it's been a long time since I ranted -- Today, I wanna talk about the most unimportant stuff. There's no point about this post..... IF you're reading this, haha.. it's funny too. Coz there's really no point. I'm ranting. It's just an exercise to get my fingers moving, typing. Yes, I love to type. I can type like 80-90 (wpm) words per minute... if i'm not wrong...
Anyway, am on a film roll. Catching some films at the SIFF, and just feel like staying home all day to watch movies... get lost in a world of make-believe perhaps! Also started on a new anime series called Kuroshitsuji. Yet another 'butler' kinda genre. This is quite interesting so far though, kinda like 1/3rd through. It's so addictive.
Meanwhile, I am now looking for new piano sheet music. I wanna find some korean ones this round..hwhaaha.. all things Korea...
I'm thinking... it's much easier to stick to something when one keeps talking about it. I had to do so, otherwise my decision would waver.
Lastly... i have a stupid nagging thought that comes yet again - telling me that I am like good in many things but a master of none. Also, when there are certain expectations placed on me, I find myself bulking and like a donkey, it takes ages to pull myself up and begin. But when I finally begin, I know that I will thoroughly enjoy the process and really engross myself in the doings.. This seems to work for me in most things I do... at work, in school, in church and so forth.
Finally.. this post seems pointless. Well, it's alright..... it was meant to be anyway! hahaha... good nite!
See my little snow angel! Almost completed! Now just awaiting the last step - varnish & frame...
And i am now wondering -- where to get scores for the iljimae soundtrack!???? it's lovely!!!
track 1 Lonely Footsteps
track 2 A Flower's Message
Track 10 - Plum Blossoms
A wonderful YAM core team mtg yesterday: Meanwhile, yesterday we finally got together to have dinner, then we proceeded to visit Sury's new house, where we shared and catched up with each other and prayed for each other as well as our members. This really got me settled, despite so much work to be done, i don't have to be stressed, and can trust in God.
Today, i had also did a major spring cleaning of all YAM's files from 2001 to today 2008... (can't believe i'm such a karang-guni). It was a major journey for me down memory lane, as I remembered all the planning we did for our camps in 2001, 2002, 2003, etc... I wonder, i was in Uni year 1 then, all the way till now, how did I manage to stick on man! And while some people lament that at 19 years old, they are still "to young" to take on leadership, I just cackle at the thought,... since I joined and started already in that place. It was tough, and I had to learn through being in it right from the start. So... I just wonder, why complain? If you serve, serve God with all your heart... be radical, be bold... you are an instrument of God...
Through reflecting on my journey "through the years", I can also see, on hindsight, how much growth I've been through. God really brings us through our ups and downs, and in a community, in YAM, there are friends to share the journey. When I am up, I am able to comfort someone who is down, and when I feel down, there is someone to push me on... That is really comforting, no one has to seek God alone. Our journey is made in a community!
Yesterday as we prayed, the word for me was that if I would lift up my prayers to God with a pure heart and intention, God will see it through. It will be done. Just like Solomon. Read "The Prayer of Solomon" Interestingly, did you know my parents had wanted to name me "solomon" if i came out a boy? lucky i got Samantha though.. whahaahah
And so, I will hold fast to this message, and wait and see. I will seriously wait and see and pray hard upon this...
Today, i was curious and went reading up on various things.. the different types of japanese folk instruments, including korean, as well as the difference in architecture between japanese, chinese and korean... and it's pretty interesting! I'd been wondering for ages what is that particular flute-like instrument that always plays in those traditional chinese, japanese, songs and if i'm not wrong, it could be the 'ocarina'.. in japanese, it would be tsuchibue, korean - Hun and in Chinese - the Xun. Interesting eh? Then again, the sound could be the japanese bamboo flute (Shakuhachi)... or the pan-flute.. haha watch this totally incredible - carrot pan flute:
Well, along the way... I came across one of my favourite anime-japanese songs...Kataritsugu Koto... which shows me why I will be damn bad with Karaoke -- now you hear this and tell me how to sing this! whahahaha..
"Kkottongnae", Flower Village in English, is a community of love and salvation.I still wanna go. Have even taken leave already too. Woo hoo! View Video Clip
And all things Korean.. started on a new korean drama calledIljimae... (SBS version - I realised that there is 2 versions!) starring Lee Joon Ki.... woohhh! I loved him in the movie "The King & The Clown".... now have to see how this series goes. ;) and after this, finally, will get down to "boys over flowers" wahaha... which i've heard so much about and it's still on my list of 'to watch'...
My.. what happened to my Jap. Guess I must have ranted too much about it and still no one able to go with me this year. So, first come first serve -- Korea it shall be.... !
Anyway.. am completely "raptured" by this album - Libera "Angel Voices" -- think i got it from abi. Truly "celestial sounds for a new time".
I like this one -- "Salva Me" - Domine deus miserere mei (Lord God have mercy on me)
And this is one we heard in 2006 when playing with the quartet in Bali for a super-duper high-class wedding!
Haha... watched this superb funny movie tonight... of course, in all things jap, it is a typically only-the-japanese-can-pull-this-off kind of movie... called Detroit Metal City. With Kenichi Matsuyama acting (L in deathnote) in this totally "uncool" role of geeky Negishi-san... i was just wondering how successful he'd be - and it turns out... haha.. not too bad.. Still uncool in the nerdy get up.. but suiting the role well enough.. awhahhaa.. BUT I STILL PREFER L!!!!!
Anyway... the movie was 'ironic'. While I can spot out so many warped values in the movie it still does not fail to entertain and make you laugh all the way, or just cringe at those all too exaggerated bits. ok for one... i just have to ask this one big question... "How does death metal enable one to dream?"
Aside, the movie does make me think deeper and that is what I like about these movies... it's always the Japanese movies that have this ability to be creative, wacky yet have some kind of meaningful message. The message for me, is simply that it is easy to lose our dreams. We can operate behind a mask, a painted face.... doing our daily things for the sake of survival. But if we accept this "mission" or whatever you can call it - job, role, title, position, lot in life --- we will be able to be happier people, and doing our job well, will be able to achieve success.
All in all, I like this movie and I betcha, Kenichi's silly looking face will be in my mind for a while now...
Life is an opportunity,
benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.
"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires
of your heart." Psalm 37:4
