Moyashimon
Latest interest - so cute...
Friday, January 30
Tuesday, January 27
What's important?
Today, I finally blog what I think is important in life. That is after today's CNY gathering at Aunt Janet's. But wait, before I actually write it down, let's go thru the pics haha... a rare posting... i've never posted our CNY pics thus far!
SO here is the Chan family in pictures!
Reunion Dinner on CNY Eve
Mum & Dad:
Dinner at The Seafood International @ Big Splash:
Mama & Me (with new hair!)
A prawn. Didn't know prawns have pincers/claws...
CNY Day 1 - Gathering at Aunt Janet's house again!
My niece & nephew (i'm aunt sam now): Marianne & Maximus (max is v cute right?)
Max, Alyssa & Marianne & Uncle Peter
Marianne - Pretty??!
3 generations!!!
The old folks ;) Peter, Janet, Theresa, Eric!
Joel & Jetaime on the right! Joel is Sec 3 now.
Aren't we lovely in pink?
Discussions... serious!!!
Daddy - talking again... ! hahahaha!
So what's next... what's important in life? Well, today we talked about so many things... largely a lot about religion. Aunt Theresa said that she firmly believes this is the end times and what we can do is really to prepare ourselves, whether our end time be our natural death or else. We talked about what God really wants from us, and we agreed it was "Love" - that the greatest commandment was "Love your God,.. etc etc" and the second "Love your neighbour as yourself". Dad was confused. He said, "obedience"... to which i rebutted most vehemently. Dad is still stuck in the old testament and the 10 commandments, whereas when Jesus came, we all know that he gave us a "new" commandment, to Love. And that is all there is, everything is summed up in his 2 greatest commandments. Oh dear. From here, I kinda get where my Dad's world-view lies and his perspective of God --- someone who wants us to "obey" Him. True, but Love is a nicer word. We obey because we Love God. So it's both correct, but it's just how you put it, in a legalistic way (obey or die) or a freedom way (we obey because we choose to, out of love).
Well, what i think is impt in life... basically now, I can say are these 2 things:
1) Meeting God. To have Love for God and to do his will in my life, and to live with a purpose. The end times is near and I need to realise that everyday, we are one day closer to meeting God.
2) Family. What is important? if we do not treasure our family or precious ones, they will be taken away from us and it will be too late.
That's it!
Monday, January 26
CNY @ Leo's
This was fun. I turned red on half a plastic cup of Screwdriver (vodka) and karaoke-ed... something I never liked to do at all... but amazingly, it's not that bad. Leo's sister was here, Ollie,..so sweet... and once again, we really enjoyed ourselves with good food, good games, and good friends. WE also celebrated Eugene's birthday and the past Dec babies birthdays. I was so happy, could stay till like 3am and did not want to go home. Feel young again. Maybe it's because of the hair. hahaa..
Click to view photos on the YAM website
Sunday, January 25
A New Look!
Hehe.. I have dropped the curls and gone for a straight look. Funny how I always say I am never going to rebond my hair, then finally, i get a rebond. well, no choice actually, you have to rebond to straight the curls... but it's really exciting, for once the hair all falls down straight and does not wave around like the usual... really easy to manage!
Anyway, Friday was fabulous. We had halfday at work, and thereafter, JL and Z and I went to bowl.. had a "turkey" (3 strikes in a row) and proceed to the LONGKANGs for the next 2 throws, and a final average score of 102. Well, not too bad for me. ;)
After that it was back to work for a special project at Singapore Children's Society. Won't say too much here, but it's a charity project we are doing with them, which needed video filming of the children to say a message... it was really tiring but yup, fulfilling. On the way back Z asked me - what was JC life like... and I was just... hMMMm.... thinking back of all the fond memories. Well, it was a HORRIBLE studying time... i clearly did not like my subjects. But the friends, the life, the whole culture at VJ, i loved it. I loved being in String. I loved my friends. I loved my ownself finding my ownself. I loved my emo periods. I loved the carrom games... so forth.
Anyway... then I remembered that I met KJ at Starbucks last Monday, and next Saturday's our JC Gathering so I must go...die die also must go! These kind of bonds, are not the kind to drop and forget. Right? ;) hehe..
Anyway... all saying this, I am thinking of today's sermon at church. Fr. Greg made a very loud opening to say, that we should not be superstitious during this Chinese New YEar, and encouraged us to believe in "GOD" who will bless us and we don't need to be afraid of so many things (as with superstitions). Yah, i totally agree. Today we then heard about Jonah, who was called to preach a warning message from God to the Ninevites (the city of Nineveh). Mishaps befell him when he refused to do so and ran away from God, but God was actually very patient, and was waiting for him to turn back and fulfill his calling. In the end, he obeyed and did God's will, and so the city of Nineveh heard the message and was saved. I began to think... if I were Jonah, what would I do? I think i would have done the same thing. Run away in a boat.... And i don't even know if i would repent and finally get out and go forth. OH dear.. I am really looking forward to Jessica's SHAPE workshop next week, which will help us discover our purpose, our calling for ministry and what we are really suited to do for effective ministry in God's church. I would like that, at this time where I have been a bit jaded and feeling full of routine and not so excited anymore.
Next, I was thinking of bloggin so many things it's not enough to write it all. I wanted to blog about things that I think are important to me but now i'm going to chicken out.. maybe let me just put in some pictures.. haha..
Beautiful sunset view from my house.
At the Singapore Children's Society centre at Bedok North!
A cool tree that looks like a heart shape!
Monday, January 19
What is Life?
On Sunday I was at the Immaculate Heart of Mary (IHM) church at Hougang, and heard a very nice homily by Fr. Luke. It's been such a long time since i've heard his sermons. He made a very sensible, logical approach on how we need to ask ourselves or reflect on the greater things of life, going beyond superficial things. He also gave a few other insights to the passage on Samual and Eli... so forth,... and though i can't remember much of it now, it was really enjoyable to hear. Made so much sense!
I recall that this whole day, i was very upset. Moody. I don't know why. No reason. That's the worst thing. I have not changed. I am still a head person and like people always say -- the head is furthest from the heart -- and so when I feel upset for some reason, I don't seem to know or able to put a finger on "why"? Sigh. It's really perplexing. I can think of a few reasons. Maybe coz we cancelled our family dinner tonight because i would have been in Hougang area and it would have been hard to return back to the East to meet my parents before going out for dinner. We initially planned to go to Peranakan Kitchen i think, and i was pretty keen on having peranakan food, since the Little Nonya ended and also since we are baba-nonya and yet seldom eat peranakan food. So i was disappointed. Yet, i had to go out to attend the SACCRE (Singapore Archdiocese Catholic Charismatic Renewal) Elections meeting.
Next, at the meeting, I suddenly felt a sharp sense of loneliness. I really really hate this feeling. It's the feeling from long ago... from many areas. Like... when i was a kid, I would have a lonely feeling and I would just feel sad. (i remember a picture dad took of me sitting with my bunny and having a sad face watching my sister play with the toys. It was 'that' feeling). It was that 'feeling left out' feeling. Not to mention, many people were 'new' faces, or rather, I was a bit out of touch with the SACCRE members, so i went there more like a spectator. Not to mention, i slept most of the programme away!
But the great thing is that Sury was elected as parish head for SACCRE Youth for the new term of 2009-2011. Wow. It's a big role and very exciting and challenging, I wish him all the best!
So well, with all that, i went for Mass, in the most 'sian' state. I of course, didn't manage to talk to anyone. I just said, I was sleepy and closed my eyes, hoping to not need to talk to anyone so i could sort out my internal battles. But, after that, through the message by Fr. Luke, and after holy communion, i really found the strength to lighten up and just get out of that moody patch. I realised i could just seek the Lord and I would find Him, if I seeked with all my heart.
So then, simple lesson learnt, long day to realise.
And well, after taht, it was much more fun! Went for a lovely dinner to Ma Maison at CENTRAL with SURY, and the "WEEs" Jacob & Eugene,... to have Japanese Western Food. We were looking for RAMEN actually, but couldn't find a suitable place to really settle down at. So finally, came to Ma Maison out of pure chance. But this is really pretty... a really quaint restaurant.. and lovely food. I will recommend it again to everybody!!!
Escargots - Eugene's not mine..
And my current obsession is === OMU RICE!
Friday, January 16
Wild Moments Talk at CS Ling's Blog
Hey... i found my pic here! If i could add, i was the ad-hoc photographer that day... as no other staff were able to make it down... so i was at the registration booth, plus photographer, plus oversee the talk. It was really exciting!
CS.Ling's Blog post
2 anthems in my life
I just went thru my 2004 posts, and discovered the song that i'd been looking for last week. This song says, "it's a love song i sing, it's an anthem from my heart..." and amazingly, the last few lines say, "a resting place for those who are weary"..... which is exactly how i am feeling.... and "a perfect place for a new beginning" which is exactly TOO how I am feeling.
Therefore this song, touched me then, in 2004, and also today 5 yrs later!!! It reminds me of really.. Everything .. my faith in God, since i had been touched by Him in 1999. My most memorable moment with the Lord? is when he is telling me that "I am not alone".
All Praises To The King
by Hillsong (Faithful)
What a joy I feel to think about forever
I'm a child of God
with blessings from Heaven
By your side, days always brighter
The Holy one
My Master
My Father
I will dwell in your courts
I will sing for you
you're my deepest love
Jesus
I love you
It's a love song I sing
It's an anthem from my heart
All praises to the King
From the depths of my soul
I adore you my saviour
All praises to the King
I am not alone
Jesus
You're near me
Washed me clean with hands full of mercy
You're a resting place for all who are weary
A perfect place
and a new beginning
Amazingly, I contrast the first song, with this song "Anthem of the Year 2000" by Silverchair, which was one of my favourite bands during JC days. Of course, i have since stopped listening to it. Well, if I did not know God, this is probably how I would view life!
Actually, 1999 was the year that i went for the YISS camp. It completely changed my knowledge/awareness of God, but my actual tastes in music only changed about 2 years later, at the end of 2000 and the beginning of the Youth Arise Ministry which i have been serving in since then!
Haha.. be shocked:
We are the youth
Well take your fascism away
We are the youth
Apologise for another day
We are the youth
And politicians are so sure
We are the youth
And we are knocking on deaths door
Never knew we were living in a world
With a mind that could be so sure
Never knew we were living in a world
With a mind that could be so small
Never knew we were living in a world
And the world is an open court
Maybe we dont want to live in a world
Where innocence is so short
Well make it up to you
In the year 2000 with...
Well make it up to you
In the year 2000
Build it up for you
In the year 2000
Make it up to you
In the year 2000
Build it up for you
In the year 2000 with you
Gee, i now cringe upon hearing this song... it is so angry, so cynical, so depressive... yet, it is very tempting, luring,... very attractively angry u get what i mean???
Can you see the difference? I think back with a certain sadness... How can God really touch so many more people out there who do not know the freeing power of His Grace?
REading back old posts
Been up reading my blogs from 2004. Wow. I paste some interesting ones. Will continue with 2005 next. It takes time man... i actually do write so much.
This cracked me up... man.. ..
Nov 2004:
http://auburnskye.blogspot.com/2004/11/latest-friendster-profile-update.html
"The renewing of our minds":
Man... i almost forgot about this, or got tempted to think "that i have already been renewed once and it's enough". This is good for me even now!
http://auburnskye.blogspot.com/2004/11/creative-mind-fabulous-article.html
The Secret of Happiness:
http://auburnskye.blogspot.com/2004/12/secret-of-happiness.html
Thursday, January 15
The Colour of Truth
The Colour of Truth
- A poem dedicated to my friend JL
The real condition
of the unmasked soul
twisted in blackened vines
of selfish consideration
Who could be right?
when truth reveals
it’s ugly face
in your very own
Acceptance begins to push forth
Like a baby calling for birth
The pain, and struggle is enough to suffocate
Yet, a breath of fresh air follows
Enlightenment ensues
You bow down humbled
You’ve grown a bit wiser
With the painful truth
That peels away old skin
But brings forth layers of new
Monday, January 12
Painter's Block
You have writer's block,.. u also have painter's block. This is my painting on 2nd week, it still looks really shitty... see original intended versus result. More work to be done!
This is Kim Chit's new studio, still at bukit batok. Lots of work space... it's on the top level with the elevator opening directly at his level. Cool right!
WAVES:
Taken on 10 Jan last Sat, while at the East coast breakwater chattin with Krish & Nat, using my 3 megapixel sony ericsson phone!
The waves and boats remind me of my previous post in October:
http://auburnskye.blogspot.com/2008/10/life-is-like-boat.html
But while in that post, the feeling is a bit of 'emptiness'... today i blog feeling peaceful and serene. I believe that my faith in God is rising again, after some lousy times. I just want to fall in love with God again.
Scrapped my thumb and knee yesterday while blading at east coast (Sunday morning).... but it's a happy hurt... like the pain is there, but i'm happy to feel the pain? ironic... maybe coz it was a nice day blading with an interesting person? haha...
2 great local films!
I'm totally awed by 2 local films caught at Sinema Old School Yesterday. Absolutely love them.
The Days poster:
more at website -- http://thedays.ning.com/
AND
18 grams of love:
What else to say? Here's a super review:
http://anutshellreview.blogspot.com/2008/04/siff08-18-grams-of-love.html
Friday, January 9
When Your Sails No Longer Have Wind
This makes sense for me..
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2, by Os Hillman
01-09-2009
He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven (Ps 107:29-30).
Imagine for a moment you began an exciting sailing adventure. You've been trained to navigate and sail on the ocean and be ready should trouble arise. You are confident you can handle the challenge. However, midway in the journey your resources have dried up. It almost seems God has intentionally destroyed all the skills you have to deal with the weather and the obstacles and your sails are now damaged. Even your engine has broken down. And to make matters even worse, your oars were lost overboard. You are stuck in the middle of the ocean and there is no wind to propel your boat. You are, as they say, "up the creek without a paddle."
All of this leads you to the end of yourself and you say, "Lord, I don't know why you brought me out here only to die." The silence is deafening.
Finally, the Lord speaks, "Yes, you are right. I did bring you out here. I did destroy your sails. I did break your engine. And yes, I do want you dead. Not in a physical sense, mind you, but in a spiritual sense. In order that you may LIVE."
"You see my child, you are nothing without Me. You cannot do anything without my grace and power in your life." The sailor quietly yields. Suddenly, a gentle wave lifts the front of the boat. An easterly wind blows through the broken sail moving the boat in the right direction. You realize God is moving your boat! Your role now is to steer it.
Do your sails no longer have wind to move you? Is your engine broken? Does it feel like God has propelled you into the open sea only to stop midway with no options? Perhaps He is saying it is time to die in order that He might live through you. Give the Lord total control today and you will see His wind moving through your tattered sails.
Saturday, January 3
Life - the brevity of it all
Today I have the experience of Ecclesiastes.
Did you know this is one of my favourite books of the bible? Why? Because it says - most negatively...
"Meaningless! Meaningless!"
says the Teacher.
"Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless."
Sometimes, I truly believe in this. But likewise, as I hold this belief, I also hold the opposite contrasting point of view that every small thing, is meaningful. Even just enjoying "today".
Today, I met up with Col & Ade my 2 uni roomies since 2001. Col and I realised today that we have been friends for now 8 years! Almost a decade. Not short at all. And tho i say this, my old friends, I still also remember you with all fondness!!!!!
Anyway, the point is,... about enjoying "today". I had the best Japanese food in a long time, at Ajitei at Plaza Sing. I was really hungry today after a lousy lunch. Then, we watched the movie Yes Man, which is also a positive funny movie which leaves a good aftertaste in your mouth.
And fulfills the part about Enjoying TODAY.
Eccl.Chapter2: 24 A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, 25 for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? 26 To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.
Now where does Ecclesiastes come in the picture?
Eccl. Chapter 2: 14 The wise man has eyes in his head,
while the fool walks in the darkness;
but I came to realize
that the same fate overtakes them both.
15 Then I thought in my heart,
"The fate of the fool will overtake me also.
What then do I gain by being wise?"
I said in my heart,
"This too is meaningless."
16 For the wise man, like the fool, will not be long remembered;
in days to come both will be forgotten.
Like the fool, the wise man too must die!
That is because later tonight, after reaching home, mum came in to chat. Yup, it was some 'advice'. Yes, and i know sometimes, you are supposed to 'listen' to your old folks because "jiang hai shi lao de la"... the older, the wiser. But somehow, I am offended. I took it un-graciously. Once again, some kind of automated defence mechanism to parental advice. Sigh.
Mum was saying, that I should go into the things I like to do with greater focus/depth. If I didn't get her wrong, she meant that I should really make it count and last rather than skimming the surface and not going deep into any of them, whether it be music, art, or what other nots that I am doing or have interest to do.
I retorted back saying why do the world want to define 'success' and if i am not achieving something great in those fields, does that mean i am not successful, and if I am not 'deep' in any of them, what is wrong anyway?
Then she shared it is because she thought of herself - that she may have liked to develop her networking in the optical industry but she only thought of this on hindsight and now it is a bit too late. She can only thus advise me that I can learn from it for my own life.
I understand. But somehow, i am still offended. I am thinking... if you want me to go into something deeper, I am definitely NOT IT! I do not have a one ambition for my life. I am not someone who has a dream since young and always wanted to get there.
Or maybe i had but lost it? and therefore now i am swimming around on the surface just enjoying myself each day doing the 'small things'?
I am thinking - last time in PRI 6... the art teacher recommended me for AEP -- i am thinking.. why then did i not go for that. I am thinking... - last time, Mr Yeo told me about the Singapore Youth Orchestra. I am thinking.. why did i not go for that.
I am thinking... since I love japanese and church work,... why don't i just go to japan and do missionary work. I am thinking - that is absurd.
I am thinking... since I loved art, and now am barely trying my best to get back in... dun add pressure again.
I am thinking... since I have loved violin and it is the one thing I myself volunteered/opted to learn, and now am continuing my violin still in the quartet, string alumni, the trio jazzical belles, and in church olps ensemble... is that still not enough...
I am thinking... if you want me to go 'in depth'... what if i drop everything and become a real full-time church worker... is that 'successful'?
So i am puzzled and also really negative about it. I think i am already trying my best to enjoy life... so don't come and throw wet blanket.
Eccl 3:11 - He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. 13 That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.
Eccl 5: 19 Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work—this is a gift of God. 20 He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart.
Really like the little nonya theme song - coz it's so poignant. Poignant is a magic word for me:
