| |
Done last Fri, 27 July... First try using charcoal... it's a bit messy, but did this in 1 lesson. It's a breeze compared to using pencil (which would take me 3 lessons to achieve this).  Anyway... took half day Mc leave today coz of eczema on my eyelids! Damn itchy. SIgh.. must be some eye shadow that I used. It's a good break... but i think i need a longer break.. It's weird how suddenly one loses direction. I feel a bit weirdly lost now. Like everyone's walking on the main highway and I'm wandering around in the forest, parallel to the highway, but not seeming to get back over. Haiz... another of those weird fixes. I wonder about the meaninglessness of it all. Again. I think if God is out of my life, life has no meaning. Maybe it's a call to deeper faith, deeper life with Christ. And yet I buldge no further. like a stubborn donkey... clinging to the nothing i've got,.. holding back from taking another step forward. WHat's with me!!!?! Last Sun was great however. After the web media course (which was damn stressful!), I went with Elaine to visit the National Museum, then had a great feast at the Taiwanese street food place at Cathay. It's got lovely pork floss toast and beef & cheese fries... super duper .. .then had japanese ice cream desert at Aijitei at Plaza Sing. I miss watching Japanese anime!! just have no time and lost the pace sometime back.. and telling myself not to watch anymore, wait it becomes another big craze and i just don't sleep again. Hai.. Hai... Had a dream... last night... I was taking some sort of exam.. but had to go toilet - those kind of dreams before you wake up and actually are quite urgent is always about the toilet isn't it? --- Then when I came out it was almost over - the exam - so i didn't bother already. Just fail lor.. that kind of attitude... Then after that I was kinda 'late' for work... i was running for a cab but realised that I was running at the roundabout inside a bus terminal and to get out, i would have to be all the way on the other side which meant, it was not possible to get out. (Same feeling of being in a wrong place and wrong time). But funny I was a man... trying to wear my tie while running around looking for the cab. Speaks of my life now? And then next, I was back in a shopping centre, in an old tailor shop. But now, I was the lady, with the man (i dunno who!?) and we were looking or enquiring about some suit... but it was so weird.. I was just tagging along with the man. So docile. Sigh. Speaks of the feminine me? Oh well... weird dream aside... today is just a blunder... blur. Went to work with the intention of staying home.. should just have been prudent enough to stay home. Well, I did manage to get my MC to stay home, Though still don't feel like working tmrw. Why leh! I think i don't quite like the desk-change... new position.. always take some time to adjust. A long time rather. But an interesting thing is --- my NTU schoolmate has just joined the company. Hadn't seen her since graduation. What a small world! Shall take time to say hi tmrw... coz today couldn't la!
http://youthariseministry.blogspot.com My latest craze - this song called Desperate People. Blog's up on the YAM blog site...
No words to describe it. It's a sickly feeling, gnawing you from inside. Sometimes, the silent treatment is worse. Did I do something wrong? Why the temper, why the lack of patience. It's no fun when things left unsaid begins to play too, with your mind. I went home tonight a little confused. a little oversensitive. was it... me? And I wonder, with a tinge of anger -- why is unity so hard to achieve? I wonder, ever again. Ministry -- how much of me have I given, and as much as I have given it to people, how much of it is really for the love of God? It sounds bad to see ministry as a "second home". Feels like it's just me running away from my reality. But it's not true. I really wanna be here. What about the rest? The responsibility is so big, it makes me disheartened. It makes me wither away in fear and loneliness. Who can understand? I cry because I have my own struggles. I am but a girl. I am but a person in need too. I asked God today... who will love me? And God said.. He will. And I cry again.
Trying hard to live by this principle.... "Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." - Albert Schweitzer
Yoh! HEre's some of the recent art. We're going back to objects.. studies of cloth, bottles, what nots.. and next week's back to pencil and sketching! Well, as of 31st it's our 1 year anniversary learning art! Cool isn't it! Puaylit, Kris and I have stuck on for so long! Done over 3 weeks: Mid June to 3rd July 2007  10 & 17 July (2 weeks)  
Thanks Mar for the little treat! Wow this was fantastic. Today Marlene offered me an offer I couldn't resist - free tix to watch La Vie En Rose - as she was doing another movie review. (mini spoilers ahead.. don't read if you wanna watch without knowing anything!) The movie was fabulous. Told marlene, yup, give it a 4.5 / 5 rating! I dunno what people would think but heck.. the whole story, her life, was so sad!!! Now although I do like sad and melancholic things at times.. this is a movie that made me tear as I was walking home after the whole bus ride.. and thinking of the movie again! Maybe i was still caught up in it after that long... The soundtrack was haunting. After all, it's about the songs - Edith Piaf lived to sing. In an interview with a journalist, she said, her advice to a child, a woman, a mother, would be " love". And it struck me that yes, that is all we ever want. That is all we ever really need in life - LOVE! And when we are sad - it's because there is not enough. When we are angry, there is not enough. When we worry, it's coz there's simply not enough love to go around!!! What really touched me was the passage of her life, from being a young little girl, lost, sickly and a "nobody's" child, to losing her best friend "Titine" and then to a nervous young lady at her first steps of her career, to a confident young woman who found success, love and life... and to a boisterous middle aged woman who knew what she wanted and would never settle for anything less, and then the loss of hope due to illness, death, loss, with then a renewed struggle to live on.. and finally the succumbing to the final destination. It's really my favourite topic - LIFE. What is life? What do we make of life? Why do we live? Why are we here? only God really knows the answer. And true to any french movie, the flow is not linear. We jump back and forth between present day (Edith in her old sickly age -- at only 44?) and her young days. Though it's a bit jumpy, it provided an interesting mix of little stories that made up the whole picture of her life. But at the end, it's just too sad... poignant is the word. But one lesson that we can learn - to be passionate and live life for what it is. Soar, Crash.. whatever. But always come back up again and live with no regrets!
This question I no longer ask my Lord - coz I know his love for me is deeper than the deepest ocean. But i turn this question to myself, Sam.. how deep is your love for God? People may say I love the Lord so much because they see me so active in church, ministry, etc. True, i love the Lord, I love the people. But true love for the Lord will bring us to a much deeper stage where we 'die' to ourselves, our selfish wants, etc, and live for the Lord and obey His Will totally. Right now, I know, I do not give God the control, I am not so eager to pray or to really seek God's will, and I am not trusting God with all my hurts, emotions, and anxiety. There are areas that God has no access yet. And this is not true love. So this question has got me pondering all day. A bit upsetting. But i've got something good to announce - I've got a pay raise!!!!!!! Little bit but it's great anyway. Praise the Lord. See the Lord is so Good! By His working, I know I am favoured, i know I am loved. What then, can I do to love God back? actions and deeds are no longer what He wants. I know that all he wants is my heart - to be FOR Him. Totally. How much then, is my 'totally'? I'm still struggling to find out! The perfect day will come I know.
When I will dance around the throne.
With the angels, I will give Him praise.
I will finally get to meet the one who made joy complete.
The perfect One on the perfect day.
I am waiting for the perfect day.
Out of balance. Rather. Feeling so tired, yet so excited, yet so sian, yet so grateful.. argh. Oh well... Went to the Esplanade on Wed night, for a cool outing with Col & Ade. We saw a casual music gig at the Singapore Art Cafe, a singer & keyboardist doing pensive jazz tunes. Nice! Then had a really shiok foot massage... and dessert at TCC. And Yesterday was practice with OLPS ensemble again. That was ok too. But I slept immediately when i reached home.. and didn't do anything... and when I wake up today, i'm still tired... so what to do... it's just ultimate - SIANNESS! And If only I had 24 more hours i could do a million other things! Argh... should I take leave!?!!?! Things I wanna do - SLEEP - exercise (like real haha) - but i wanna play tennis and blade! - do ju's site - do olive notes (olps youth e-newsletter) - watch my unwatched dvds.. - read harry potter book 6 (still on the waiting list) - read my other books - like Os Hillman's my utmost to his highest, George verwer's No Turning Back, and around 3 other new brand new books... not touched yet! Then again, all these are just personal luxuries eh! haha.... shows i just need more discipline! Man... this is so sian..
This article excerpt is so comforting:We are all God’s “works in progress.” And sometimes God gives a little peek. He lets the world see just a little peek of His poem called “You,” and then He pulls it back under cover. But there will be a time, when the timing is just right, that He is going to present the completed poem to the world, and everybody is going to stand in awe and say, “Wow!” Remember that as stated in Ephesians 2:10, His workmanship are created in Christ Jesus. So if any man comes into Christ, he is a new story. The old story is gone and a new story is being written. So when you become a Christian, God takes out a fresh sheet of paper and says, “I am going to write a poem.” I don’t know what your poem is, but you have one—God is writing it line by line, precept upon precept. YOU ARE VALUABLE
Wow.. was counting all the stuff I did at work thus far since I've been here... (20 months already!) Crazy right? but this is what I did: 14 issues of Gateway E-news 11 issues of Real Estate E-news 2 issues of Finance IQ E-news4 issues of SSON E-news 28 post show reports 16 press releases 21 pre-event flyers (seat-drop ads) 5 draft agenda/premailer design 15 conferences as interviewer and photographer Countless proofreading/editing of desktops/emails/brochure content during 2005-early2006
|
|
