UNsaid things

No words to describe it. It's a sickly feeling, gnawing you from inside. Sometimes, the silent treatment is worse. Did I do something wrong? Why the temper, why the lack of patience.

It's no fun when things left unsaid begins to play too, with your mind. I went home tonight a little confused. a little oversensitive. was it... me?

And I wonder, with a tinge of anger -- why is unity so hard to achieve?

I wonder, ever again. Ministry -- how much of me have I given, and as much as I have given it to people, how much of it is really for the love of God? It sounds bad to see ministry as a "second home". Feels like it's just me running away from my reality. But it's not true. I really wanna be here. What about the rest?

The responsibility is so big, it makes me disheartened. It makes me wither away in fear and loneliness. Who can understand?

I cry because I have my own struggles. I am but a girl. I am but a person in need too. I asked God today... who will love me?

And God said.. He will. And I cry again.