Movies

Just watched 27 dresses today with Ade & Col. it's nice... typically a romantic comedy in the sense, you can't get sad enough to cry, but there's a mixture of happy and sad bits.. which all blends out into a happy story. I liked it. as long as it has a good ending, for me, anything is fine!

But it just leaves me a bit sad. I somehow can relate to 'Jane'. It's like.. you're living your life for others because of the joy it give you. And she's a superwoman - organiser freak.. maybe i liken myself to that too.. everything can do can do... and she has a organiser full of dates and appointments.. me too... and I have a younger sister ;) ... so does that mean it's finally time to live my own life and live for ME?

ANyway, at the movies, we spotted a few good movies that I must watch when it comes.

1. Kite Runner (Amazingly, I have never read much fiction books in my last 10 years - besides Harry Potter! - And this is the ONLY book I've read and it's now a movie! SO it's a must-watch. I cried when i read the book - and watching the trailer, the young boy version of amir and hassan looks great - just like how i imagined it. But i shudder to watch - what if they skip out important parts of the book again (just like so many other books-movies that have disappointed!). Let's see... it looks as if it might...




2. L - Change the world..

Just to see L again! ahahaa.. he's my fav character in Death Note... weird.. Maybe i like the black eye rings..


That's all... still building my 'must watch' list. Maybe spiderwick chronicles might get in there, but it looks too much like "jumanji"....

Retro Science Fiction, Fish and Ripples

"Retro science-fiction epic set in Victorian England.. "this sounds like my type of thing... like... HG Wells' Time Machine, or War of the World, or anime like D.Gray-man... FMA...

Just watched a couple of DVDs over the week... Dreams by Steven Spielberg based on Akira Kurosawa's short stories, and Steamboy. Haha... talk about having time... There's always time for movies.

Now what happened to exercise...

What I did yesterday - with pastels on rice paper that had been dyed orangey-purple... The fish's tail has some problem, and the lotus pod too... and the water ripples look like storm clouds... ah well.. KC said even though the drawing is not entirely correct, it was good already for a 'creative' type of work - much more original than my previous paintings.. I think it's fresh... and yes it was rather fun... but I do think the fish sucks! Never draw fish or water ripples!!!!!

Proj!

Hehe I quite like this... latest ad-hoc proj at work... here

Though quite suck at the other one on my hands... argh.... make it or break it.....

What's new?

The past weeks of this new year of 2008 proves an exciting time. I feel fresh, renewed, getting into gear, and at the same time, also uncertain about the future.

Interesting things in my life so far this year:

Went for a latin mass at the St Pat's chapel, and proceeded to lunch with Camillus and the gang. Really funny lot, and sometimes I feel younger again with them (until they remind me that I am Not...) hah.. anyway, it still feels like a dream, but i'm talking as if I'm definitely going to Japan this end year with them. I hope so... i just wanna make that happen by all means.

At work, I am onto a new chapter of research, statistics, and proving the case for online community. A bit challenging... either make it or break it. I dun wanna think of the latter. But at the same time, i can't find enough "Will" in me to "make" it. So i'm hovering between the land of the living and dead - that makes me - a zombie?

And about my busy-ness... it's still busy as a bee.. well.. I have tonnes of books to read, 4 library books on acrylic painting to gloss thru, my sketches (hw) for art class next week, mum's Korean DVD which i got from her, some 3 new DVDs that I JUST GOT (dunno why so greedy!) from Video Ezy today, and the CSA Website to do by the weekend. If that's not a lot, then what is? All these on top of the youth ministry stuff to manage which never stops week in and week out.

I guess, these keeps my brain going. If not, wonder what I will turn out. As it seems, I am already forgetting a lot of things...

Amidst the busy-ness, I have to budget my $$ carefully. That means saving up. Ok, let me give you, my friend whoever is reading this, an insight to the unfriendly costs we girls have to upkeep - for those not so lucky to have beautiful skin... For example, the skin care programme going on at the DRX clinic that i am now visiting, is so darn expensive. Almost $5K for 1 series of treatment. And that is no guarantee there'll be more rounds needed. As of now, I'm already paying over $150 a month for the basic DRx stuff.. (and it's already around $300 a month (which was paid up earlier under the package) for the Bionn stuff...) what's more to come? I shudder at the avalanche of expenses. As it is, I really regret and fully wanna kill myself for taking up the stupid Bionn package over 2006, which made me "enslaved" over the whole of 2007 incurring a total total cost of already around $8K. So think of what my potential savings could actually have been..... Well, if there's any consolation, I'm so glad mum has volunteered to sponsor for upcoming expenses.. But it just leaves me a bit despondent - about the fact that I have to do so much just to upkeep a decent image - sometimes, u just feel unnecessarily handicapped - if u get what i mean. ANd if I don't do anything, people will just say, there are no ugly women, but there are lazy ones. I dun wanna be lazy - though I already am.. SIGH.

Well, amidst all these petty worries, I heard something interesting from my OLPS ensemble friends today -- "This is the time to take risks!" is what they said. And it moved me a bit. I'm not the risk-taker kind of person - and this statement just provokes me so. But thinking about it = really makes sense. ok SO NOW... if I were to take a risk... what would I do? QUit My JOB and be a full-time artist & Musician!!!! WHAHAHAHAHAHA. That's taking risks for me. Bleah. I still dare not do that. So maybe i'm not a true-blue musician-artist - just a wannabe? This relegates me back to the land of Zombies once again.

Maybe i better take a risk and begin to LIVE LIFE - as so my New YEAR Resolution states. This needs lots of thinking AND prayer! OH GOD!!! Help me.

Ok, i shall end off here. My latest reflection thought - is "why do I like accomplishments so much?"

yeah. feeling blissfully happy over loads of good (junk) food today. Ok,... another vice - food.

SIGH.. sam... really wanna enjoy life. But is it too early to enjoy life? Must work hard ah... aiyoh..

Ok... sorry for ranting... my blog is a place where I rant things that I won't usually have "time" to rant to people..

Being Hungry!

It's been now around 12 days? Since start of the year. It's been a great time.... planning for all the youth events, also involved myself in doing the CSA website (yet another commitment?!) I don't know why even though I'm so busy, I still pack myself. My brain needs the stimulation I guess! ;)

Anyway, I wanted to write in this blog entry that "STRENGTH" is indeed from the Lord. Sometimes we are weak, and even though we know we are, we don't want to seek the Lord. We believe in all kinds of lies that we tell ourselves, like God can wait... I don't need God... or I dun feel like being very Godly at all.

But as today, I find myself experiencing an inexplicable hunger once again for God.

You know how it feels like when you're hungry right? You are just thinking about Food all along.. everywhere.. you start drooling and thinking of nothing but FOOD!

Well, not that I'm thinking NOTHING but God, but the whole analogy here is to show that,... if you are hungry, you KNOW it.

Similarly - if we are not really sure and find ourselves having to question, "am I hungry for God? Do I really want him in my life?" It simply means - we are not really that hungry for God.

Because if you are, YOU will know it.

Every hungry person will stand and complain --- "AH i'm so hungry!" So if you're hungry,.. you'll really know it.

And when finally our hunger exceeds our pride... we'd then finally fall down before Jesus... and go all out on a different path of life... that quest to pursue God, our lord and saviour with great intensity, like never before.

It will be "A New Thing".

And I guess, that's what many people are afraid of...?

That "New Thing" had happened in my life in 1999. It then takes another 8 years to develop and you start feeling dry and old... but that's when God sends us through tests and purifies us through the fire. Have you been through the fire? Simply, this means... been through a series of transforming experiences in your prayer life - so that you are able to understand the depth of God's love for you and to know His plans for your life? The truth about His Love?

And so, today, 8 years later from being "awakened" by God... for once in many months, I awake at 7:30am today and go to my computer... and start doing God's work... (planning for session tonight) --- and play some worship songs... and just feel God's presence touching me through the music and lyrics.

Isn't this God's doing? If not, what?

If it wasn't God, i'd be having a late morning... in lala land.


The hunger....


The feeling that I need God...

The feeling of Coming Back to Him....

Even ministry people like me... need that too....

That renewal of faith... conviction... desire... .. unwavering passion.... I need that too....




Praise the Lord...!