What's new?

The past weeks of this new year of 2008 proves an exciting time. I feel fresh, renewed, getting into gear, and at the same time, also uncertain about the future.

Interesting things in my life so far this year:

Went for a latin mass at the St Pat's chapel, and proceeded to lunch with Camillus and the gang. Really funny lot, and sometimes I feel younger again with them (until they remind me that I am Not...) hah.. anyway, it still feels like a dream, but i'm talking as if I'm definitely going to Japan this end year with them. I hope so... i just wanna make that happen by all means.

At work, I am onto a new chapter of research, statistics, and proving the case for online community. A bit challenging... either make it or break it. I dun wanna think of the latter. But at the same time, i can't find enough "Will" in me to "make" it. So i'm hovering between the land of the living and dead - that makes me - a zombie?

And about my busy-ness... it's still busy as a bee.. well.. I have tonnes of books to read, 4 library books on acrylic painting to gloss thru, my sketches (hw) for art class next week, mum's Korean DVD which i got from her, some 3 new DVDs that I JUST GOT (dunno why so greedy!) from Video Ezy today, and the CSA Website to do by the weekend. If that's not a lot, then what is? All these on top of the youth ministry stuff to manage which never stops week in and week out.

I guess, these keeps my brain going. If not, wonder what I will turn out. As it seems, I am already forgetting a lot of things...

Amidst the busy-ness, I have to budget my $$ carefully. That means saving up. Ok, let me give you, my friend whoever is reading this, an insight to the unfriendly costs we girls have to upkeep - for those not so lucky to have beautiful skin... For example, the skin care programme going on at the DRX clinic that i am now visiting, is so darn expensive. Almost $5K for 1 series of treatment. And that is no guarantee there'll be more rounds needed. As of now, I'm already paying over $150 a month for the basic DRx stuff.. (and it's already around $300 a month (which was paid up earlier under the package) for the Bionn stuff...) what's more to come? I shudder at the avalanche of expenses. As it is, I really regret and fully wanna kill myself for taking up the stupid Bionn package over 2006, which made me "enslaved" over the whole of 2007 incurring a total total cost of already around $8K. So think of what my potential savings could actually have been..... Well, if there's any consolation, I'm so glad mum has volunteered to sponsor for upcoming expenses.. But it just leaves me a bit despondent - about the fact that I have to do so much just to upkeep a decent image - sometimes, u just feel unnecessarily handicapped - if u get what i mean. ANd if I don't do anything, people will just say, there are no ugly women, but there are lazy ones. I dun wanna be lazy - though I already am.. SIGH.

Well, amidst all these petty worries, I heard something interesting from my OLPS ensemble friends today -- "This is the time to take risks!" is what they said. And it moved me a bit. I'm not the risk-taker kind of person - and this statement just provokes me so. But thinking about it = really makes sense. ok SO NOW... if I were to take a risk... what would I do? QUit My JOB and be a full-time artist & Musician!!!! WHAHAHAHAHAHA. That's taking risks for me. Bleah. I still dare not do that. So maybe i'm not a true-blue musician-artist - just a wannabe? This relegates me back to the land of Zombies once again.

Maybe i better take a risk and begin to LIVE LIFE - as so my New YEAR Resolution states. This needs lots of thinking AND prayer! OH GOD!!! Help me.

Ok, i shall end off here. My latest reflection thought - is "why do I like accomplishments so much?"

yeah. feeling blissfully happy over loads of good (junk) food today. Ok,... another vice - food.

SIGH.. sam... really wanna enjoy life. But is it too early to enjoy life? Must work hard ah... aiyoh..

Ok... sorry for ranting... my blog is a place where I rant things that I won't usually have "time" to rant to people..