Time for kit kat! What a day..

Have a break.. have a kit kat! The oh-so-familiar slogan...

It's impossible to work round the clock. Your body just starts up a revolution and sooner or later, you find that by 10 O'clock sharp your system begins to show signs of lagging, hanging, and it's just a matter of minutes to shut down. Uh okay its amazing that i'm still here at 11pm... but well.. shut down is quite imminent, so i better say my last words before I do go call it a day...

Sometimes I marvel at how quickly the day passes. It's just busy busy busy... work work work.. and being tired... and thinking of all the things that are not done... and then life doesn't seem so meaningful, what's all these about? Exactly like chasing the wind.

Then again, I remember to take a little step back... enjoy some good music.. thank God for the good work I did today.. yes my FYP group held our very first Focus Group Study! It was cool.. And I did enjoy sitting behind the glassed windows adjusting the camera to catch everyone's expressions... and now at home.. my brain's too spaced out to do more work ... spirit is willing but flesh is weak. In fact, spirit is also weak... i wanna do, but then again i dun wanna do.. sigh sigh sigh...

Like my GE.. i'm supposed to do a Flash website.. about a shop.. so of course i'm doing my mum's shop. But then again.. it's been 2 weeks since it started and I haven't done a thing... WHY i just can't understand.. I like to do flash.. but when it comes to doing it, I balk. I stop short. I just stop. Roadblock. Is it fear? Is it a certain unbalanced kind of perception about it?

That's why I feel I can't go into design. For fun it's okay. For pleasure. For a good cause perhaps.. like the project I did for my youth group. But for something else? Maybe this is a strong indicator of where my interests lie. Youth Ministry. FULL STOP.

I can't think of anything else. Help GOd.. is this an obsession? OR is this something you want me to do in my life? I am really scared when I think of how you want my life to be. What will it be?

It's a mystery. ANd my heart goes out to all those who need to take a step back and ponder over the meaning of life. I mean... everything works unto the Lord. All our works, will be useless if not done with the eternal in mind. That's why Ecclesiastes says Useless useless, all is useless...

One day, I wanna write a book. I recently read of George Orwell's life (doing him for a presentation on a creative personality). I think I'm somewhat like him. Ironically. He was a conservative in everything except politics. He had a passion for the oppressed and never liked the totalitarian system. He distrusted the future and relished the past.

How am I like him? (maybe you may not see it but i do) Well.. I am quite mild.. don't have much strong views in anything except Christianity...I have a passion for the spiritually poor.. I don't like the entertainment-consumer-modernculture-focus-on-looks system... I distrust the future and relish the past..

Now that's bad.. how can i possibly go on if I relish the past?

Struggle. That's where creativity blossoms isn't it?

One more thing.. i think i love to write. It may not seem as wildly passionate as Orwell, who knew from 5 years old that he would be a writer. But I know now that it's the way I communicate. While I talk, I prefer a lot to write. Maybe one day the ratio will be more balanced.

So now... let me relax a bit more... it's my kit kat time.. tmrw back to work again.. Once again.. on my flash project. It must progress this time... it must..