Is the glass half full or half-empty?

I just knew it! It's time for me to go. Been freeking out for around a week already since my blooper 2 weeks ago (plus many more bloopers after it). It's not something drastically wrong but it goes to show that naturally, this job is not really cut out for me, rather, I have a personality that needs a different scenario? And so, as of next week, I shall be free once again, can wake up late, can do my own thing. Not that I'm mooning about or being upset. I'm rather relieved, but wonder how should I look at the picture.. How to look at it? Definitely not as a setback. Hey this is simply a stepping stone.

And hey.. it takes great courage to say that, aint' it?

But so what did I learn of this all? That it takes courage to be positive, to make the right decisions, to do something beyond yourself. To have integrity, to have confidence and self-worth. I learnt to value feedback, and the importance of communicating effectively. I learnt how to bounce up again after trials, and I learnt how to enjoy simplicity of life.

Sometimes its unnerving to keep having to hear feedback about yourself.. from not only one area, but every other area and person. But that's where one is able to grow. If you cushion urself against any feedback, chances are .. no growth.

I also learnt another thing - That the Lord gives and takes away...

Job 1:21
He said, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, And naked I shall return there. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD."

Anyway, this tune for Frank Sinatra's MY WAY comes into view:

And now, the end is here
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and ev'ry highway
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way

Heh.. i'd like to think I did it my way... :)

So is the glass half-empty or half-full? For me it is half-full. Rather than moping about and thinking that I have failed, I'd rather come to life! Man.. I always wish for more time.. and here is it! The opportunity of time again! Meanwhile.. there's so much ahead to accomplish.

Just joined my church new orchestra - OLPS Orchestra which is still in the infant stage of starting up.. and the priest in charge declared so loudly (every practice he keeps repeating) that I'm the leader of the orchestra.. heh.. makes me cringe a little coz he always overdoes it.. haha.. but proud as I feel, and noble as the job is, as well as worrying as the workload will be on me.. I feel like an indescribable calling towards string and leading..

I know I'm not like the most natural born leader around.. It's always like a "by Default" thing.. JC.. NTU String.. even now at OLPS Orchestra! BUT I know that the passion that drives me is worth every ounce of my time to pursue this and that qualifies me for being a leader. I know i can do it. I just know. At least, I'd give it my best shot. So much to learn so much to walk... unexplored terrain.. no one daring to do it.. coz it's foolhardy. It's crazy. I'm crazy! Who would wanna lead a fledging Orchestra with old grannies and little kids in the team, and lots of old foggies who have years of bureaucracy stored in them, and so on? ok not that I think I'm the best coz i am here leading this team. But I think I'm just super crazy. It's the passion.. the idealism!

So let me be. Do it my way. The more I try to fit into a typical mould that says.. do this and you will get success.. it really cramps my style. Like I have a style.. but yes,.. i'm beginning to find it. MY style. MY WAY.

In total.. I am happy. Praise God for events so far... even though the Lord gives and takes away, His name is still to be blessed!! I know He is watching over me.

Matthew 6:34 - So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.