When I am weak

WHen I am weak, I remember the Lord. I remember how real He was, how comforting was His presence, and I yearn for a time of intimate closeness with Him. Yet when I am weak, He also seems far away. People don't help. Friends are there, but they don't seem to be able to mend the gaps within my heart. What is making me so sad? What is making me feel like the worst thing on earth? What in the entire world is wrong with me? I don't even know what to feel. I think I am the kind of person who hides every feeling and hurt, so much so that it gets buried and repressed, and when something triggers a feeling of sadness in me, or hurt, I don't even know why it bothers me SO much. Maybe it's not sadness, but feelings of insecurity, imperfection, and being 'not as good as others'. Why are we in this rat race? Why are we always striving to look better, be richer, work harder, everything? Indeed, I am weak. And I know that I need the Lord so much more - to be an overcomer. However, a question that continually bothers me is - What in the world am I sad about? I just can't figure out - is it something in my childhood long long ago that I probably can't remember now? Is it just emotions going haywire? I just feel super sad. The kind of stifling sadness that has no hope. Oh but God is Hope! Romans 5:5! What am I doing, saying that I have no hope? Maybe it's a burden. Maybe I'm feeling the sadness of another person? I don't know.. i don't know, but i better just pray and lift it all to God. Oh GOD! Save me! Save my soul from the woes and tribulations.. comfort me and guide me, for I am worn out. I'm tired. somehow..