Mixed feelings

The anointing of God - what is this? It's something that's so holy, so pure, so true. It's also a fleeting feeling. One day, you can feel holy and anointed by God and one day, you feel back into your worldly self filled with selfish, doubtful and totally unloving thoughts. But ironically, this is the christian struggle. The struggle between 2 selves - our worldly versus our new selves in Christ.

Today i don't know what to feel - happy, but mixed with some kind of foreboding. Sad but mixed with some kind of joy in general. Hopeful but yet also not, and whatever.. it's hard to define.

In this kind of state I just want to listen to Enya.. and stare blankly into space. Hahrr..