Alone
I feel lonely. Life is fun, busy and packed with many good things to do and enjoy about. There are good family members around me, and friends all around. But nevertheless, nothing can change the fact that there is an inner self within me that feels lonely. I hide that beneath the cheerful exterior and busy noble self. But that cannot bury the overwhelming feeling of loneliness. Maybe I long to have some more meaningful relationships around me... develop closer friends with the acquaintances around me, become more open to people around me and share more of me with others. But I fear. I fear rejection, my negative traits projecting onto other people, making them unhappy. Humans are needy aren't they? We always need emotional connection and when that is insufficient, we crave. Have I been independent for too long? or have I simply been lying to myself? Or is this just a passing feeling? I hope to think so... coz Life is so tedious.
3 Comments:
It is common. Even Jesus Himself experienced it. Little wonder He often went to the deserted places to pray. Perhaps you need to spend some times with God and remain faithful to Him.
"Put Your Hands in His (Jesus') hand, and walk alone with Him. Walk ahead, because if you look back, you will go back." - Mother Teresa of Calcutta
Hi Sam, there is a part in everyone where we feel lonely, and then when I do, i usually reach out to the people that I love to speak and confide in them. Most of the times, this will rejuvenate me!
If that fails, I will do something that I enjoy, or do something different to break out of that mindset and also to kill time!
Because, i do not want to feel lonely, I would bake to take my mind off things, even watch a movie (yes, by myself sometimes! and I would deliberately pick a seat next to the couples to bask in their warmth! haha), do shopping (even buying a simple top would make me happy), go to the bookstore to browse at magazines and chat to the friendly lady at the counter, head on MSN to chat up old pals (to see what's up and who's getting married, changing jobs, coming to HK :-)), read up my next travel destination (so many to fantasize about!), go to the beach to relax!
Remember I took ballet classes to occupy myself after work! I read other people's blogs and facebook to find out what other people are doing with their lives so I can drum up more ideas how to make my days less monotonous:-P
It is a phase that will pass, and we will learn to deal with it as we get older.
Pau
hehe.. thank you pple... I am momentarily lonely... why? Coz I forgot to pray. It's funny but that kind of loneliness that I feel in the world, it's usually stem from a disconnect from God, or self... I forget who I am, forget what I am here for, and I feel a lack of purpose, even though people and wonderful things are all around me! So as i recover from that, I am back to normal in no time... and yes, aiyah.. I just wanted to rant... i think it was because last week i wanted to watch a movie and just somehow didn't find a buddy to watch with. Of course, i can watch alone but i just got miffed about it... ;) heheee.. so childish.. haah.. I'm GOOD this week and maybe yes, I shall watch a movie alone for the experience (seriously have never done that at the cinema!) ;) thanks!
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