What is freedom?

Today I emerged from a 7hr overnite vigil at church... still awake... though i napped a lot in between.

I am thought-filled (not full, but filled) haha. I just can't wait for a break this Friday as I leave for my Japan trip. Finally the long awaited trip.

I ponder over the theme, freedom. What is freedom? Is it to do what I want and without the constraints of anyone? Is it to fulfill my dreams? Is it to just have a free carefree personality without worries? Is it to be without commitments and responsibilities?

Recently got tempted. I have a choice, to go do something I really like. But the trade off is long-term security and the sense of achievement & completion in the tasks/job/projects at hand. If I go ahead to pursue my 'wildest' dreams, will I really be happier? Or will the uncertainty take a turn and haunt me instead?

I could live with my personal choice. But the fact that it affects other people, makes me less free.

The fact that in our world, our actions affect other people, makes 'freedom' an illusion. If we are free to do what we want, at the result of other people's wellbeing, that is not being free.

Freedom is making a reasoned choice. After a bout of reasoning with good friends, I came to a decision that it is not best to follow my wildest dreams. Then again, that's coz we're all practical people.

When the head speaks, the heart is dampened. When the heart speaks, the head sends out alarm bells.

Which do I listen to?

Yet again I listen to the head.

There goes my 'dream' of playing music and doing art all day. Fantasy world. Then again, I am also not ready to embrace this kind of life. It is a total revolution of my daily routinised life right now. Can I take it?

I hope that it may still come to pass one day.