Idealistic me?

I learnt some things from Fr. Jack Soulsby's talk last Friday. It's that any place where I go will be a better place, simply because "I" am there.. simply - a healthy self-esteem. And it was certainly good, reminding myself few times throughout the day, of this. Aka.. in the bus on the way back after blading at East Coast.. my blades on the floor started to roll when the bus braked suddenly, and I scrambled to get it back. I felt quite stupid.. but then it was just me and my feelings wasn't it? And immediately, i told myself.. This Bus is a better place because I am here! haha..

okay just some healthy self-talk..

Anyway, back to the topic of the day.. Idealistic me? I think because I am quite idealistic, I get frustrated because the Catholic Church doesn't seem what I think it should be in terms of supporting the Charismatic Renewal. I feel people aren't growing enough, or there's no proper structure where young people who are full of fire can be a part of. The result? We stumble and fall and grope around in darkness, trying to search for a way to bring forth Spiritual Renewal to the many young Catholics who go to church without really getting to know and appreciate God or their faith.

Perhaps, God has a plan which is still in the making. I believe that.. and slowly, if I be patient, I will be satisfied because I know God is Good. My efforts are not in vain. Everything builds up God's Kingdom and my own personal Character and experience.

I was just dreaming.... that one day, I will write a book... maybe take the topic of Spiritual Warfare and create a light-hearted fiction story out of it.. with the Spiritual warfare principles as a foundation! That would be cool isn't it?

Another dream.. that perhaps, I can do what the Campus Crusade staff do.. get people to fund me.. and then I'll work in ministry full time! I will organise campaigns, talks, outreaches, and help plan events for youth curriculum in various churches.

I so wanna do that. But I don't see an opportunity, a realistic possibility, or perhaps I just don't dare. It's out of this world. Who in the right mind willl do something like this? I even wondered if I could get my parents in on community or church or mission work. However, all in all, it's just one word - CRAZY. And perhaps, I'd be a fool for Christ. I'd be crazy enough to do this. Perhaps. Perhaps. Though.. the time isn't right yet..

Perhaps.. i'll just let this vision incubate for a year or so.. then i'll decide again.

Meanwhile.. keep updated for what's next. For now, it's life life life to the max! Movies, Shopping, & TOTAL IMAGE REHAUL! Too bad i'm almost out of cash already! mwahahaha!