A week of Irony

The week has been ironic. Been having lots of great events going on... birthday dinner with Pau & Ruby... went for Pilates & Hip Hop class at Cali wif Claire (Yay i finally went back since Feb!).. then had my last oil painting class on Wed.. and then String Practice on Thurs.. and then a fab dinner wif Lixia & old friend (whom i didn't meet since JC1) - Huijun!

That was Monday to Friday. Yes. But ironic part is... i've been sad. I think it's about the ministry. I feel a bit outta touch with God and perhaps it's been taking a toll. Perhaps it's after a big event like ABLAZE that one feels the drop in adrenaline and perhaps, motivation as well?

I think it's discouragement and disappointment. I know I expect too much out of people and yet I may not have communicated it through well enough.. A leader's job is seriously tiring and demanding. Unless the leader himself has no expectations we can just go "with the flow". But then... the whole thing is becoming burdensome. What am I doing and for whom? If it's for God I don't think I'm doing anything in particular - it's like.. serving my notions of what a ministry should be like. Perhaps this is another turning point in my life with God or ministry. I don't know. Frankly.... my only challenge now is to Let Go and to get back to having a positive portrait of God's plan and vision. When things become murky,.. the vision becomes unclear, i can only walk on in small steps and hope and pray I don't fall into some pithole that's too deep to climb out. I feel i'm treading on the edge. Truly. And I realise I don't have a mentor, a prayer buddy, or a really close relationship with God. It's always the case isn't it? that lack of God in our lives. Do we live on jaded and say it's not worth pursuing God this much? or try to find God with even greater efforts? Where do I go?

Sam

TUES: Dinner wif Pauline & Ruby at Indian Wok
There goes. The dessert. Sizzling Brownie. I just can't help but take a pic. And it was a pretty pleasant brownie! Happy Birthday Pau & Ruby!


WED: Oil Painting last class
My easel with the object in front. My lamp is too dark here isn't it? and Kim Chit (our teacher)said my 'head' looks like an 'egyptian mummy'! WAHHHH!

Other students: Puay Lit & Kris

Kris's mum's wonderful creation!!! IT tasted wonderful... I ate so many..

There: my half finished masterpiece - but i don't feel like completing it..


THURS: NTU String Orchestra
This is the score for Harry Potter. It is absolutely hundred percent difficult. My bow didnt' even touch the string... while my mouth was like gaping wide... i can't play this! Perhaps now i only can play 1% of the whole thing. But it is seriously challenging and fun. THe music sounds wonderful.. even sitting there 'listening' to the music while trying to mimic the bow and pretend to be together with the rest - is seriously rewarding. I'm going to drop everything and practice seriously the next two weeks man.

So, Adventures on Earth ANd Far Far Away == The concert is coming on OCt 5-6. www.gatecrash.com.sg


FRIDAY: Clarke Quay shots
Had dinner with Lixia and Huijun (JC1 friend) at Crazy Elephant at Clarke Quay... after being turned out by Brewerkz's long waiting list... but it was fun. Classic Rock & Roll and American Garb. I can live with that. Not to mention a very sweet concoction of 'Chocolate Dreams' and 'Mai Tai' which subsequently left me high and dry in the pockets...

After that supposed JC outing... we walked around and shot some pics of the Clarke QUay interior. I wanna try some food in there - the moroccon and persian outlets. Looks so exotic.



And there goes the week... :)