Exactly How I feel at the Moment

Oh my gosh. I have had several weird nights this week. Trying to do work (aka all my youth stuff)... then feeling really tired, then lying down on the bed to ease the body... then knocking out almost in a minute. Then waking up like 6am or thereabouts.

Usually, i just sleep. But today i found my laptop blinking... coz it has some special sensor for movement or heat?? it randomly goes to sleep and on again? i still don't understand it's system. (just like a real person).

Anyway, it blinks on.. and the light wakes me up, plus I needed to go toilet. SO... feeling guilty for leaving it on YET another entire night, I decide to off it but when i see the first page was my blogpost which i intended to type last nite also, I decide then to sit down and not go back to sleep and TYPE this.

So i look for a song lyrics.... by Steven curtis that starts with "It's 6am, and I'm so tired..."..

and I find this post.. that sounds Exactly How I FEEL AT THE MOMENT!!!
http://www.junhopark.com/blogger/2008/11/am-i-there-yet.html

http://www.junhopark.com/ - i go on to read the latest Feb 2009 post on Prayer by this blogger... it is so so so so so so so extremely true and I am so touched.. is this GOD? telling me what to do, how to live, to pray more?

I read on.. this person had been on a mission to Japan. NOW it strikes another bell... Japan... i really wannaa go there.. hmmm

And this passage is awesome...

In John 15:5-6 Jesus states, "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned."

One aspect of my nothingness without God is this: I am absolutely, utterly ineffective if I am detached from God. If I am separated from God due to my pride, wayward heart, and acts of disobedience, I will be a "dead" Christian. I would be utterly wasting my time doing all of these religious things but really, these things would not mean a thing.

I recognize that God can take away all the blessings and talents He has given to me in an instant, at the snap of His finger. And you know what? Even if He does, I will have absolutely no power to get these things back. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. He may choose to take away my musical abilities, my friends and family, my money, my health, my ability to instruct and to lead others. He may turn me into Job. And that is such a humbling thought. (taken from Junhopark.com's Feb 8 post)

So anyway... this was the song that I was looking:

THIS DAY (STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN, Underdog Album)

It's six A.M
I'm so tired
The alarm sounds
And the new day begins
Before I go
And disturb this peaceful moment
I look to You

[CHORUS:]
I want to say a prayer
Before my feet can hit the ground
Lord I give this day to You

I'm amazed how You forgive me
Yesterday seems so far behind
It's a brand new day
And every day's a new beginning
I look to You

[CHORUS]

Breathe in
Breathe out
Breathe in
And watch the day begin
I wanna watch the day begin

[REPEAT CHORUS]


And another youtube video on Steven Curtis - on another song I really like. CAN YOU Hear the CELLO!? lovely..... this was talking about his adopted children...



So sweet - just feel so sorry for the loss of his little girl, maria - in the video below...