Random Thoughts Again!

Today I feel like blogging! hehe.. It's been sometime since the last post. Ok, what's the latest updates?

Goal setting - This weekend I learnt or remembered about goal setting and having SMART goals. Got me inspired to do the same training with the youth ministry. If we want to fulfil our dream, we need to make suitable plans... so now, what's happened to my plasn? SO many dreams and a lot of haphazard plans!

Too many commitments - I still feel like i've too many commitments. Within 1 week, i've gotta attend youth mtgs, YAM mtg, Jap class, and now also there's Young Adult ministry, Shakuhachi practice (fun only), and plus the need to practice my viola & japanese still each week (which i've consistently failed to do so). Hahaha.. Notice ensemble is already almost out of the picture... it's one of the fading commitments... but recently we talked about playing with Holy Fam again - and I think it may come back again - at least for Advent. I need to have a commitment to eating healthily and to excercise, but seems there's absolutely no time for that.. maybe need to stop all those couch-potato activities like all my j-dorama & anime? sigh... hmm.. so lazy.

Today
I went for young adult ministry and gave a little sharing on our Love-o-meter, from what we heard from YAM's session yesterday. It was really fun to share with others about God and get them interested to improve their relationship with God. I really feel passionate about this and that despite how lowly I think of myself, God may have some plan for me - that all will never be gone, despite how I think about how one day I will just go bonkers, quit church, quit everything, etc.etc. In fact, we are so excited to meet up next week, coz we're going for high-tea!!!

CSAA
I am so blessed with this community - the Catholic Students Apostolate Alumni (aka ~ 2004-2009-ish batches). Yup... they're mostly junior than me (what's new) --- and provide companionship each month for dinner or nights out. I am just happy to have friends there - or that I had the courage to go put myself there and make friends.


With all the things happening, there's been a question in my head - I have all that I need, what else do I lack? I lack nothing. I no need to worry for anything. I can just sit back and enjoy life. With this privilege, this kind of luxury, then, what am I going to do with my life next? Am I going to just sit back and enjoy life as what I've always loved to do? Or is there something I Must do?

I don't know, and i'm tempted to not do anything. Don't change the status quo. LET me continue being a superwoman and do all these wonderful noble things in church, in my leisure, in my work.. etc.

But the major question that stumped me this weekend is actually so simple... here goes:

Q: If Jesus was here now in the same room with you, what would you say to him/do?

For this answer, I realise, that how much I serve in church is useless, because if I feel uncomfortable with this question - like... "oh dear, what would I actually do?" then what have I been doing in church? What have I been advocating? A relationship with Jesus? When this question makes my heart flutter with panic rather than excitement? I feel ashamed, and feel that despite having "Everything" in life, I have really nothing, if I do not know what to do in the presence of JESUS! What do I do if I were to die then - i may not even enter heaven because I am still so unworthy and "uncomfortable" because Jesus is Holy and pure! :P