Whatever, God

I just get frustrated thinking of all the things I wanna do for God and that it is so difficult getting the team going or even the ideas. plus all the doubts I face as well.

Sharing them with people --> Do they wanna hear? Can I really express them well enough to impress others?
Implementing them --> Do I have the team? Do they think I'm being a workaholic?
Seeing it through --> Do we have the energy?

It becomes so easy to live life just for fun, pleasure, ourselves, to achieve this or that. New year celebrations comes and goes, it's over. Maybe God does want us to enjoy the journey. True. I am enjoying every minute of it. But Satisfaction is only for that minute. Why it seems? Why am i not fulfilled?

Because I want to do so many MORE things for God. But then again... it brings me to ponder even deeper, why am i left STILL hungry.

Perhaps, it's really not what I DO for Him.

Perhaps, it's really just being there in the Presence of the Lord that I want. AND I really believe so.

So then, what will happen next? I just have to patiently depend on God's signal. IF He moves, ALL ELSE moves. I don't have to fret in frustration as I am doing now.

How i wish I could command God to Move --- GOD! Move!

But then.. that would be fulfilling MY agendas isn't it?

How mighty God is.. and How sovereign is He... he makes us (Me) feel so helpless that we can only depend on HIM!

That is only if I recognise that all HE wants is simply my obedience... not being a smart proud aleck who thinks I can do many big projects and please Him.

And while the world thinks it's stupidity.. God thinks it is wise. Waiting on the Lord isn't so bad after all. But Lord, i'd only just begun. Speak Lord, I am listening..


Whatever
by Steven Curtis Chapman, album 'Speechless'

I made a list, wrote down from A to Z
All the ways I thought that You could best use me
Told all my strengths and my abilities
I formed a plan it seemed to make good sense
I laid it out for You so sure You'd be convinced
I made my case, presented my defense
But then I read the letter that You sent me
It said that all You really want from me is just

Whatever, whatever You say
Whatever, I will obey
Whatever, Lord, have Your way'
Cause You are my God, whatever

So strike a match, set fire to the list
Of all my good intentions, all my preconceived ideas
I want to do Your will no matter what it is
Give me faith to follow where You lead me
Oh, Lord, give me the courage and the strength to do ...

I am not my own
I am Yours and Yours alone
You have bought me with Your blood
Lord, to You and You alone do I belong
And so whatever