Discipline

Today, I learnt something at the string quartet practice - the first gathering of the year of olps orchestra. I learnt about ---- discipline.

I had been playing the same song "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik" by Mozart, for the past 4 years at NTU and today, we played it yet again. In my mind i go -- darn... we're not trying anything new after all. And .. i play - almost half-heartedly; almost carelessly; almost proudly, thinking that I know it all.

And yet, after jamming on my violin, samuel our conductor stops us and makes us play pair by pair (1st & 2nd violin) and (3rd violin & cello) and then makes me play with the different parts and listen to them. AND I REALISE - that there's always something new. And that there's always the fact of LISTENING.

Perhaps in life, we all do the things we do -- for years, till we think we know it all. And then when a new conductor comes into play, we think we know it all still. But the new conductor brings change and demands discipline, and we can't afford to do it haphazardly or proudly anymore. We'd have to bow down and listen to this new conductor and start to follow in obedience. So that the whole orchestra can play in unison. For the sake of good music.

This is what I experienced today. Discipline. In playing the same old part that I've played for the last many years.. today, I had to play it bar by bar - scrutinising each section and each note - playing it for what it should really be played like.

And i think - this discpline is gruelling. But then again - it sounds just like God coming into my life and changing me and making me go through the little parts of my life bit by bit.. thrashing it out and taking a real close look at the little bars and notes and the expressions that should come along with them.

IN a way, I look forward to great music at the end of this all. But I realise that God is a detailed and thorough God and does not let us sweep things under the carpet!

YIKES! God help me. I know I tend to escape. But where can I go from your presence?

It is this absolute knowledge ----> that I can't flee anywhere else from God's calling and presence --->that compels me to ministry and service to God. So call me a "holy" person, or "pious" or whatever. I know what I must do. I have to persevere and do what God calls me to do.