Hiding Place

I listened to Don Moen's song, - Hiding Place - today. Somehow, the words really make me all muffy inside.

It's like... God... i really need Your Mercy and Grace,.. yes, i really need it.

Our god is an awesome God - he is also a hiding place for all our pain, confusion, turmoil, etc.

People may wonder, because I am a nice girl, not much to feel pain or confused about. But it's not whether we are a nice person on the outside.

Inside, we are all the same. We have the condition of the original sin. All our evil thoughts, and selfish desires, come from the heart too. So we can be both sinful, and good (outwardly) at the same time.

I remember last saturday's session at YAM, where we had a deep worship time. I believe, I had a little vision - a thunderstorm... rain... heavy rain... i could even smell the rain.. see the dark sky with lightning flashing across... and then i heard God's voice.. he said, "I will wash you clean".

When He speaks, you know it. You just know it. I started tearing immediately...

Perhaps, I also need a renewal... a fresh start again after all the years of ministry, weariness, jadedness.. bitterness... perhaps, God will also wash me clean through His Mercy and Grace...

The mark of Christianity is yes, what we do and our behaviour, but it is also largely, the inward turn of our hearts to jesus... yielding to the Father, so that our lives can be lived for His purposes and not our own. When we cannot comprehend that... we are like broken strings in the orchestra.. not being put to full use, because we had chosen to be separated.

Sigh... why is it all so abstract? Why can't people really just understand God is God? and why can't we all just come together, to worship the Lord, and be blessed, and be filled... and be happy?

Why do people find happiness besides God? Why?

I feel the pain... God came and died for us, but we do not know Him...