Funny Story

One day an old couple died in a car crash. They had been married for sixty years, and they were in excellent health due to the wife's insistence that they exercise and adhere to a healthy diet. In heaven, St. Peter met them at the gate and ushered them to their mansion. It was equipped with a massive kitchen, an elegant mu­ter suite, and a Jacuzzi.

"This is wonderful," said the man. "But how much is it going to cost us?"
"Nothing, of course," answered St Peter. "This is heaven." He then ushered the couple outside and showed them that their house was on the eighteenth fairway of a golf course exactly like that at Augusta.

"You can play as much golf as you like," said St Peter. "This week it's Augusta. Next week it's Pebble Beach, then St. An­drews' you can check out the schedule in the pro shop."

"This is unbelievable!" said the man. "What are the greens tea?"
"There are no greens tea in heaven. It's free," answered St Peter.

Next they visited the clubhouse where there was a buffet unlike anything they'd ever seen. It had steamed lobsters, caviar, prime rib, exotic fowl, every kind of vegetable prepared to perfection, fresh-baked breads, mounds of sweet butter, and a dessert table that took their breath away.

"What do we have to pay to eat?" asked the old man.

"Don't you understand?" said St. Peter, exasperated. "This is heaven! The food is free. Everything is free!"

"Okay," replied the man, "but where are the low-cal and low-fat food tables?"
"That's the best part," said St Peter. "You can eat as much as you like, and you'll never get fat or sick." The old man went ballistic. He threw down his hat, stomped on it, and tore around the room screaming.

When St. Peter and the man's wife finally calmed him down enough to speak, he looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault! If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, we could have been here ten years ago!"